On The Eve of the First Day after Christmas Break

So on Friday, the Feast of the Epiphany, the Three Magi safely made it to the fireplace mantle to deliver their gifts to the Baby Jesus, Miss Elizabeth found the quarter in her piece of the Galette des Rois, and just for good measure an ice storm topped off with a dusting of snow passed through.  But with all of that, Christmas break has ended.

 

 

 

Our Christmas break has been a delightful couple of weeks of gifting, and feasting, and reading, and friends, and crafting, and movies, and staying up late, and sleeping in, and playing in pajamas well into the morning and occasionally past lunchtime.

 

 

But tomorrow, things need to go back to 'normal'.  We will begin school again, picking back up the last few weeks of the term before exams and starting fresh with a new pile of books.  On Tuesday, the children resume their swimming lessons and choir practices, and on Wednesday we will meet with friends again for co-op.  We're not easing back in, we're diving back in.  

 

On the one hand, we're ready for it.   After two+ solid weeks off, preceded by the flu and a slow limp to the finish line, it feels like it's been a long time since we've had a day in which we followed a normal routine.   The crankiness that is creeping in around the edges is telling me it's time to reclaim it.  On the other hand, I feel overwhelmed by the thought of trying to get that ball rolling again.  Inertia.  An object at rest wants to stay at rest….   Oh how I want to stay at rest.  Sloth is a vice I wrestle with every.single.day.   I need a little something to kick-start me back into action, to help me to gladly go forth and resume the work He has given me to do.

 

Maybe I'm not the only one?  I suspect perhaps that I am not.   I can't offer you a package bundle of resources and checklists that guarantee to help you start the New Year with a bang.  I can't even offer you a blogpost in which I attempt to weave these wise words I have gleaned from others into a coherent whole.  That said, these are a few of the words that have been feeding my soul and strengthening my heart and helping me combat my propensity toward sloth this week as I prepare to shift gears and begin "normal" life again after the slower rhythm of these past weeks.

 

"…the real problem of Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it.  It comes that very moment you wake up each morning.  All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals.  And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, stronger, quieter life come flowing in.  And so on, all day."  (Pt. 4, Ch. 8)

 

"Every time you fall He will pick you up again.  And he knows perfectly well that your own efforts are never going to bring you anywhere near perfection."  (Pt. 4, Ch, 9)

 

~CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

 

 

"MIDWINTER.  The commonest simile in connection with the new year is a book with blank pages.  Nature's year is also a book to be written.  This midwintertime represents a pause in the turning wheel of life.  It is, in northern lands, the year's low point, its nadir.  Life will swell, reach its zenith, before the next resting time. All the events of spring and summer and autumn, of sprouting and growth and seed time, the beginning and the end, lie ahead.  The whole circle of the seasons stretches away before us as we view the year from the cold plateau of January." (p.2)

 

~Edwin Way Teale, Circle of the Seasons

 

 

"Care is not passive – the word derives from an Indo-European word meaning 'to cry out', as in a lament. Care asserts that as difficult and painful as life can be, it is worth something to be in the present, alive, doing one's daily bit…combating sloth, being willing to care for oneself and others on a daily basis, is no small part of what constitutes basic human sanity, a faith in the everyday." (p.41-42)

 

~Kathleen Norris, The Quotidian Mysteries

 

 

A new year with all its possibility spreads out before me.  Tomorrow morning I will get up.  I will push back the voices that will whisper that it's just too hard, pray this prayer, and trust in His grace and goodness and strength to do my 'daily bit'.   Who's with me?

In Praise of the Morning Walk

I realized recently that our morning routine needed a revamp.  I am not particularly an up-and-at-em kind of person, which is all well and good.  We're homeschoolers, right?  I don't have to have my kids ready for the bus by 6:30 every morning (thank heavens).   But over time our school start time was getting pushed later and later into the morning.  It's important to me to finish lessons by early afternoon so there is still time left in the day for other pursuits.  But with three official students – this is tricky.  It's possible – even if you don't start lessons at the crack of dawn – but it's tricky.

 

What to do?  How could I balance my need to ease into the day without letting it slip too far?

 

My solution: the morning walk.  

 

I had noticed that we do fine getting ready fairly efficiently in the morning when we have a hard-and-fast deadline to walk out the door – such as for church on Sunday or when we had co-op last year.   Apparently, trying to gather everyone on the couch by 9 am for morning basket did not have the same psychological effect.  I wondered – if I said we were going to go out for a walk at 8:30 – actually walk out the door for a walk – if that would have a similar effect?  A hard-and-fast deadline by which breakfast must be done and clothes must be on?  Even if I don't get up until 7 or even a little later – which is often the case – I still theoretically would have time to eat and get a little devotional time in.

 

So we tried it.  And it has worked beautifully.  

 

And not only has it worked beautifully as far as getting us moving in the morning – we are now consistently on the couch with our morning basket by 9am – it has proven to have a myriad of other benefits as well.

 

My oldest daughter and I tend towards being a little groggy in the morning.   Walking gets our blood flowing a little better so our minds are more awake when we hit that morning basket and the rest of the day's lessons that follow.

 

My son has some sensory-type issues and has said before that being outside helps him feel calmer.  This morning walk is helping to meet those sensory needs before they begin interfering with the flow of our day.

 

One of my goals for the coming school year is to build better habits of physical fitness for all of us – not my strong suit.  Adding this morning walk to the day is the first step towards building those habits.

 

While not a "nature walk" per se – we still try to schedule in a longer nature outing once a week or so – we can't help but notice nature.  The birds, the spider in the bushes, the ants, the vine that got tangled up in another kind of bush, the weeds….   As we continue this tradition, we will start to notice what there is to see in our neighborhood in various seasons.   We are training our observational senses and becoming intimately acquainted with our local surroundings, which is really the goal of nature study anyway.  The nature journal is only one tool we use for that, not the be-all-and-end-all.

 

And perhaps best of all – I am guaranteed a focused time of prayer.  I don't always get my devotional time in – or as much as I would like at any rate.   But here is what has been happening – we take our walk in a small park in our subdivision.   After a couple of laps around the path, I let the children go take some time on the playground there, while I take a couple more laps around.  And while I do, I find the quiet and space I need to reflect further on the morning's Scripture reading and lift concerns up to the Lord.   It has been a delight to find my time 'multiplied' in this way.

 

I never thought we really had time for a morning walk before.  Now I am beginning to wonder how we ever managed without it.

 

Try it sometime.  Maybe you will find it is just what you need too.

Summer Plans

I've been seeing a lot of 'summer plan' posts popping up in various places on the internet.   I thought it might be fun to chat about that over here in this space too.  We are actually still in school mode here at our house, and will be until mid-July, and then will be traveling on the West Coast later in the summer.   So really…we don't really have the leisure of a long, lazy summer here.  That said, we are still in need of a little refreshment to ease the monotony that can lead to burnout.  

 

I don't make super-ambitious reading goals anymore, although I always have a running list of books I want to read going in the back of my mind.  The only reading that I'm for sure going to do this summer is to keep up with the I Promessi Sposi discussion, because I'm co-leading it. (I'm also REALLY enjoying it, so no chore there.) I am also slowly reading Athansius' On the Incarnation as my theology pick at the moment, and would like to finish that this summer and move on to something else.  I'd also like to read Charlotte Mason's Volume 2, Parents and Children, which is one of the remaining two that I haven't read yet.  Truth be told, I will likely be reading novels and other lighter fare more than anything else this summer since I anticipate most of my reading time will either be at the pool while the kids swim or while traveling in the car which doesn't really lend itself to dense reading material.  So, we'll see how we go.

We had a very disrupted school year so are still in school mode until mid-July, like I said. We did 4-day weeks with a 5th day for co-op this past year, so we are keeping the 4-days schedule and plan to take that 5th day for a weekly field trip now that co-op is finished for the year. There are several museums that we'd like to visit, and I'd also like to take some longer, full-day type nature walks. I also set aside much of our normal morning basket fare and we will be doing Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, drawing, backyard-type nature study, and some hands-on things related to the topics in CM's Elementary Geography instead. Later in the summer we'll be travelling on the West Coast, mostly to visit family, but hopefully will get some good outings and nature journaling opportunities along the way. So really my 'summer enrichment' will be mostly things that I do WITH the kids. Shakespeare, drawing, nature walks, museums and afternoons by the pool are good for Mama too.

The one other thing that I'd really like to do is do some follow-up study and research after Dawn's Swedish Drill presentation at the Conference (and her recent Mason Jar podcast, and her series of guest posts over at Afterthoughts) and come up with a simple baby-steps plan towards being more intentional about physical fitness in our home after our travel break. So that's my 'something new' to learn about.

 

 

I'm also working towards better habits in the morning - we've been letting far too much of the morning slip away from us before getting going with our school work.  Currently, I'm in the brainstorming mode.  I'd love it if you'd share your morning routine with me in the comments - perhaps your routine will help me think outside the box for improvements I can make to ours.

And that's the plan. What about you?

I Give You Permission...

Has spring arrived where you live yet?

 

 

It has where we live.  Sunny and temps in the 70s.  In my mind this is perfect weather. 

 

 

Too perfect to stay inside.

 

 

But what about that math lesson?  Don't we need to do that?

 

 

What about squeezing all that reading on the AO list for week 8 into week 8 on the calendar?  

 

 

Relax Mama.  I know you want to be diligent in your children's education.  Me too.

 

 

But pushing too hard at all those things you "should" do without ever taking a break – that leads to burn out.

 

 

Ask me how I know.

 

 

These sunny 70 degree days aren't going to last forever.

 

 

Before you know it they will give way to the sticky humidity and heat of summer.

 

 

We won't want to spend all day outside anymore.  We'll want to stay inside in the air conditioning.

 

 

Which means that we'll have time to pick up the pace again on the math and reading and all those other things.

 

 

We'll be refreshed and ready for it after slowing our pace for a few weeks to enjoy this window of perfect weather.

 

 

Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

 

 

Enjoy these days while they last.

 

 

I give you permission….

 

All photos taken on a recent outing to our local botanical gardens.  We got a great deal on an annual pass.  We'll be back.

 

 

Morning Time and Group Studies - Fall 2015

So now we come down to the REAL nitty gritty: curriculum choices we've made for this year.  You can see where each of these segments fit in to our daily routine here and some of the rationale behind our choices in the Reflections on Relationship series (index here).

Our Morning Time is fairly pared back this year from previous years.  We have moved poetry and memory work to each child's individual time with Mom as we found that this works best for our family dynamics. We've also dropped French almost entirely for now.  French studies have never gone smoothly for us, I think at least in part because it's been a little bit of an emotionally-charged, feeling-the-pressure sort of situation since we "have to learn it because we live in French-speaking Africa" rather than a delight or particular interest of anyone involved.  So while we are away from Africa, we're taking a break from French too.  We'll re-evaluate that plan when we have a better idea of our future plans.  So far, this simplified Morning Time is going really well.  I had planned this to take up to 45 minutes, 15 minutes on each topic, but very often we finish in less than that (which helps especially on those mornings that we start a bit late).  Michelle and James are expected to listen and participate fully (by narrating), Elizabeth is required to sit with us and listen but not to narrate unless she wants to.


Devotional: Reading from Starr Meade's Comforting Hearts, Teaching Minds (based on the Heidelberg Catechism), Prayer, and singing a Psalm (a fairly new practice for us - we are using the Book of Psalms for Worship as a resource) 

Read-Aloud: We read aloud from one of the following each day, rotating through them on a loop:

Parables from Nature (Gatty) - currently finishing up the chapters scheduled in Year 3, then we'll cycle back through Years 1 and 2 again for the sake of the younger children.  I don't think it will do Michelle any harm to hear them again since they are quite rich and deep.  Her experience of them at age 10 will be quite different than it was at age 7.

One Small Square: Pond (Silver) - with By Pond and River (Buckley) as a follow up when we finish this.  We are doing a pond study as our nature study focus this semester.

The Avion my Uncle Flew (Fisher) - This is our nod to French for this year.  It is a code-switching story that I have heard recommended repeatedly.

Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales - from the Year 2 free reads.  I always like to include a fairy tale selection in our group read-alouds.

Ordinarily I would include Tales from Shakespeare (Lamb) in this rotation too, but they are doing Shakespeare at their co-op this year, so I left it out.


Activity: Again, we rotate through one of these each day on a looping schedule:

•  Folksongs (Cherry Ripe, Kookaburra, and the Brahms Lullaby this term)
• Composer Study (Brahms this term)
• Picture Study (Degas this term)
• Map Drill (on the USA this term)
• Charlotte Mason's Elementary Geography - trying to include the hands-on demonstrations she mentions in the text when applicable.

Outside of our Morning Time, we also do certain activities like Nature Study and Handicrafts as a group, usually in the afternoons.  A nature outing and time for journaling is scheduled in for Friday afternoon.  Handicraft projects tend to be tackled a little more loosely - I will perhaps introduce new handicrafts on a free afternoon or weekend, and then we'll just work at them here and there as we have time available.   We have the Artistic Pursuits Elementary 4-5 curriculum on hand for drawing instruction too, and did do (and enjoy) a few lessons over the summer, but they are also doing a drawing class at our co-op this year....So we'll see how much we use that.  It's available for anyone who would like to use it, but it won't be required since they are getting other drawing instruction elsewhere.

Our evening family time is also done as a group and is our primary Bible instruction time (we don't follow the Ambleside Bible suggestions as we've always preferred to do this as a group).   We sing a hymn, read, narrate, and discuss a short passage from the Bible (currently going through the Old Testament using Marty Machowski's Long Story Short) and pray.  We follow this up with a family literature read aloud, usually pulled from the Ambleside Online Free Reading suggestions.

What does your Morning Time Look like?  What other studies do you pursue as a group?

Reflections on Relationship: The Daily Routine

This is the final installment in my planning series Reflections on Relationship.  You can read the other parts of the series here:

Introduction

Enriching Relationship with God

Enriching Relationships with People Around Us

Enriching Relationships with Mankind

Enriching Relationships with God's Creation

 

Now that we have considered that the goal of our education is to enrich relationships,  and considered practically how we can do that in several key areas, now it's finally time translate all those ideas into a typical daily routine.   My basic planning process remains the same as it was a couple of years ago, although the daily schedule looks a little different now that I have 3 students.  Nicole at Sabbath Mood Homeschool and Brandy at Afterthoughts have some good thoughts on translating Charlotte Mason's ideas into a daily schedule as well.

 

Wednesday is our co-op day, and as we have a bit of a drive to get there that is the only thing we have planned for that day.  But on our four school-days of the week at home, this is what our daily routine generally looks like.  I am pleased with how this routine is going for us thus far...it is a good marriage of structure and freedom; it is full without feeling completely overwhelming.

 

Breakfast and Morning Chores
I aim to get up around 6:30 (although sometimes in reality that means closer to 7) and aim to start our school morning around 8:30 - this gives me a good 2 hours to ease into the day.  I get up, drink my coffee, check in briefly online, and have a bit of time for devotional reading, journaling, and prayer.  Somewhere in there the kids start getting up - some get up earlier, others later.  We eat breakfast, although not necessarily all at the same time.  My husband helps with this, and my older kids can get themselves cereal and toast now, so breakfast tends to be a bit more of a casual-eat-when-you're-ready affair in our home now because of those staggered wake-up times.  After that, we all move towards morning chores: clean up breakfast and attend to any other kitchen jobs, throw in a load of laundry, oversee the kids' morning jobs (again....they are old enough now to handle basic morning chores and hygiene more or less on their own), shower....you get the idea.  I used to have a much more highly structured morning routine, but this sort of basic "things that need to be done" and a reasonable amount of time in which to do them has been really helpful for me in this season.  (So has slightly more independent children who don't need so much of me first thing in the morning!!)

 

Morning Time – All Children

We aim to start Morning Time around 8:30 or so, and it typically lasts 30-45 minutes depending on length of the readings for the day and how much discussion we get into.   Another post coming soon with our Morning Time selections for this year.

 

After Morning Time: The older two children – Michelle especially – are able to do some of their work independently, so they will start their independent work checklists and I will work with each child one-on-one from youngest to oldest.  Michelle may come to me to narrate independent readings as she is finished with them.  The younger children are dismissed to go play after their time with me is finished. 

 

Elizabeth – Age 5 – Kindergarten
Elizabeth's kindergarten time takes 30-45 minutes. 

 

James – Age 7 – First Grade 
James does a few independent items (math drill, drawing, reading) while waiting for me, and then we work together for 45 minutes to an hour.

 

Michelle – Age 9.5 – Fourth Grade

Michelle can do quite a bit independently, so works through her checklist while I work with the younger two.  Sometimes she finishes everything before I'm ready for her, in which case she is free to do what she likes until I am, as long as she doesn't wander too far and I can easily call her to come.  We spend somewhere between and hour and an hour-and-a-half  going over her independent work and doing certain readings and lessons together.

(Detailed posts on curriculum choices, etc, coming soon.)
 

 Ideally, all of our school-book-work is finished by lunch.  We've been able to follow this schedule consistently and while it's a full morning, it doesn't feel harried and rushed, and we've been able to jump back on track fairly easily if there is a disruption somewhere along the way.

 

Lunch - Listen to Composer Music and Folksongs, Habit Training on Table Manners

Clean Up Chores

Rest Time
Sadly naptime has completely disappeared in our home. :(  We have replaced it with a 30-40 minute quiet time in which we all separate to read or do other quiet projects and no one can talk.  I use it to do a bit of reading and try to avoid working on household tasks or the computer until time is up. 

 

Afternoon Activities May Include Any Combination of the Following Depending on the Day, the Weather, and My Mood...:

• Free Play Indoors and Out
• Handicrafts or Drawing
• Nature Outing and Journaling
• Homeschool PE Class
• Mama Gets Her Other Work Done - household or computer tasks, planning the co-op class I teach, errand running, etc.

 

Clean Up - Dinner Prep - Baths/Showers as needed

Dinner – Habit Training on Table Manners
 

Evening Family Time: Most evenings this includes a family activity of some sort - often a walk or watching the guys who fly remote control airplanes across the street since we still have quite a bit of daylight.  If we need to stay indoors, then we might play a game or perhaps watch a TV episode or movie.   We close with our family reading time - both Bible reading and a literature read-aloud.
 

Bed - Kids Go Down by 8:30 at the latest, although the oldest is allowed to sit up in bed reading until 9 or so.  This gives my husband and I some time to hang out together or get a few more things done before we head to bed, ideally by 10:30.

Do you have a daily routine that is working for you in this season?

 

Reflections on Relationship: Enriching Relationship with God

This is the second part in my planning series, Reflections on  Relationship.  You can read the introduction to the series here.

 

Today, let's talk about how we can help enrich our children's relationship with God.   In Volume 6, Charlotte Mason tells us this: "Of the three sorts of knowledge proper to a child, the knowledge of God, of man, and of the universe,––the knowledge of God ranks first in importance, is indispensable, and most happy-making…. their relation to God is one of those 'first-born affinities' which it is our part to help them make good." (p.158-159)   This sentiment is echoed throughout Charlotte's writings – her whole philosophy is built on the premise that children are born 'persons' created in the image of God.  Ultimately all of education should help us to know Him and love Him better so that we can glorify Him and reflect His Truth, Goodness, and Beauty to the world around us.

There are many ways that we can help our children to cultivate a relationship with God.  Here are a few of the ideas that I have been thinking about.

 

Prayer

This is perhaps the most essential, because ultimately I can't force my children to grow in their relationship with God.  I can introduce them to Him and point them in the right direction, but ultimately the Holy Spirit must work in their lives for them to grow.  Anything else I do must be rooted in prayer and done in cooperation with Him.  (This point was underscored in a big way by all of the speakers at this past weekend's Ambleside Online At Home retreat.  More on that coming soon.)

 

Attend to my own Spiritual Vitality

It has been said that "Faith can be caught, not taught."   Besides prayer, one of the most important things I can do for my children and students is cultivate my own relationship with God.  As my own love for Him increases, it will spill over to those around me.   I have let attending to my own relationship with God slide in the craziness of recent years, so I am trying to remedy that.   Some of the ways that I am doing this:

• Corporate Worship: We recently started attending an Anglican church.   Among other things about the structure of the liturgy,  I really appreciate that Communion is served weekly as an essential part of the service.  It is a weekly reminder to me of the glorious work of grace that Jesus has and is working in my life which helps me to reorient myself away from me and back towards Him.  I don't know about you, but I need that reminder often!   The teaching is also very good in this church – this series on 'Releasing the Grace and Power of the Vine' has been particularly helpful to me as I have considered this idea of enriching my relationship with God.  
• Counseling: We returned from Africa very weary, and in my case that has been largely because I have gotten far too good at putting on my 'I'm okay' face while pushing issues that I need to deal with out of the way.  This only works for so long, however, and now has caught up with me.  So I am working toward sorting all these neglected issues out - unpacking my baggage if you will - so that I can move forward as a healthier person.
• Renewed Commitment to Daily Prayer, Scripture Reading, and other Spiritual Reading: I have typically tried to do this in the early hours of the morning, but as any mother probably knows, it doesn't always work out that tidily and all too often gets skipped.  I am purposing this year to attend to this time of reading and prayer before any other reading I do.  If it gets missed in the morning, I will do it later in the day,  before reaching for a novel or book discussion title.   

 

Daily Liturgy

Cindy Rollins talks about morning time as a liturgy of sorts.  She is not the only person who has written or spoken about this idea over the past couple of years.  So I have been considering how to apply this idea in our home.   We have typically closed our day with a family time of hymns, Scripture reading, and prayer.   However, it has been awhile since we opened our day in the Word. We used to do this at breakfast, but as my children have gotten older their rising times have changed and this routine no longer works well for us. I have floundered around trying to figure out where to make it fit.  This year I am going to make a point to start our school day with Morning Time (we've done it as a mid-morning break in the past), and start our Morning Time with a time of Bible reading, Psalm singing, and prayer.  We will continue to close the day with our evening family devotional, hymn singing, and prayer as we always have in an effort to develop the kind of rhythm that Cindy and others speak of.

 

The Christ-Centered Curriculum

Ultimately, the knowledge of God is the leading edge of the curriculum as a whole, not just the parts that are specifically focused on the Bible or hymn singing or prayer.  Jack Beckman explains it this way in When Children Love to Learn:

 

"Therefore Miss Mason places the knowledge of God on the leading edge of her curriculum, with the knowledge of man and the universe following in order.  God has revealed Himself, His being and purposes, through the pages of living Scripture, which has its focus and meaning in the life and work of Jesus Christ.  Because of this starting point, we must infer that all of life has a theological or religious base.  A purpose of education begins to emerge, that of developing an understanding of God and His created reality and to use that understanding in exercising a creative-redemptive dominion over the creation in which we live. The child is not passive in His education; he experiences, understands, and acts upon that understanding in ways that show the image of God in him – creating, exploring, making choices, building relationships." (p.118)

 

Andrew Kern explores this idea in detail as well in his lecture on the Christ-Centered Curriculum.   Ultimately all topics we study and skills we learn can point us back towards Him and help us better understand who He is and reflect Him to the world around us.  (I wrote about this before here and here.)

 

How do you hope to enrich your and your students' relationship with God in the coming year?

 

 

Reflections on Relationship: A Planning Series

So, it's that time of year where I see many bloggers posting their plans for the upcoming school year.  I love reading planning posts.  I love making checklists and organizing new books.   I love sharp pencils and new notebooks.  I love just about everything about starting a new school year and always have.

 

That said, I haven't made any new checklists or organized anyone's binder yet.   That aspect of planning comes very naturally to me - so much so that it is easy for me to jump straight to that part of the process without considering the 'why' behind what we are doing.  This has been especially true in the last year or two.  Since returning to the States in May, I have come to realize that I have been functioning in survival mode for…well…for a long time.   Now that we are here in the US again, at least for now, I am slowly starting to replenish some of what has drained away.  Part of that process is thinking through where we are and where we need to be in our family and in our homeschool, and taking those ideas into consideration when I start choosing curriculum and making checklists.  I want to be sure that we are using our time in the best possible way - being intentional to work towards our goals - and not just flying on autopilot.

 

I have been re-reading sections of When Children Love to Learn (Cooper, et al) as part of my reflection time this summer.  This quote in an early section really struck me:

 

"Charlotte Mason's educational ideal was not to remove us from the ordinary but to enrich us, each one, with the best possible relationships…with God, with people in our family and community, with others through books, art, or music, and with God's creation." (p.35)

 

 

The end of Charlotte Mason education is far more than the books and materials that are included on my nice checklists.  The end is relationship – and not just any relationships, but the best.  The relationships that will enrich us and help us become human beings fully alive.  That is really the point of the living books and the narration and the nature study and habit training.  Those things are not ends in themselves, they are the means of helping us to develop those relationships appropriate to us as human beings.  (See more about this in Charlotte Mason's Third Volume, School Education, Chapter VIII 'Certain Relations Proper to a Child').

 

These relationships fall into four basic categories: relationship with God (what Charlotte Mason refers to as 'Knowledge of God' in her writings), relationships with the people in our family and community ('Education is an atmosphere' and 'Education is a discipline'), relationships with 'others' - Mankind, if you will - that we develop through our books and other studies ('Knowledge of Man'), and relationship with God's creation ('Knowledge of the Universe').   I have been reflecting on ways that I can help to enrich our relationships in each of these four areas so that I can ensure that my priorities are straight when I get to the more nitty-gritty-checklist-making part of my planning process.   What does it look like to enrich these relationships?  And how can we do that, practically speaking?  I hope to share some of those reflections in posts to come.

 

Burnout, Self-Denial, and Refreshment

So, word on the street is that February is homeschool burnout month.  I must've missed the memo on that one because we hit burnout here only a week back in after Christmas break.  I spent most of January fighting back against it.    I had a certain number of weeks I wanted to get through by the end of March when life will go topsy-turvy for our family for most of the spring and summer, and nothing – not stress, not sickness, not bad attitudes – was going to stop me.  The last week of January was absolutely miserable for us.  There was shouting and tears and school, which on a good day is easily finished by lunch, was stretching out until 4 or even 5 o'clock.  A major ongoing discipline issue with one of the children that needed some serious attention came to a head.  Something was going to have to give…but what?

 

What I came to realize was that *I* was the one that was going to have to give.  I've very jealously guarded our free afternoons ever since we started homeschooling, ostensibly for the children's sake – so *THEY* could be free to play with their school friends and pursue their interests.  This is a good thing and a worthy goal to shoot for.  But what I realized was that I was really jealously guarding that time for *ME*.  I wanted that free time for myself to work on my own personal projects and have the kids out of my hair for a bit while they played with their friends outside.

 

Ouch.

 

So, I thought through a few things tweaks to help our days run more smoothly:

I let go of my ideal of getting all of those boxes checked as quickly as I'd like.  We took a break for a few days, just to breathe.  Those boxes - they'll get checked when they get checked.  And it'll be OK.

 

I am limiting my time online.  Mama sitting in front of the computer is like an invitation to go do what you want rather than what you are supposed to be doing.   I've found that I need to restrict my online activity to the kids' free time in the afternoon and in the evening after they are in bed, and on the weekends when everything is a little more relaxed.

 

I deleted a couple of nonessential or overlapping items from Michelle's schedule – like dropping the formal grammar book in favor of discussing grammar and punctuation naturally in the context of our dictation passage each week, and dropping her individual French work for now until I can find different materials that will suit our needs better. (We still do French as a group each morning, so it's not being completely neglected.)  

I  drew up more of a time-based schedule (as described in Nicole's scheduling series here).  I'm not following it rigidly but using it as a monitor to keep myself on track and be aware of how we are using our time (who knew I was letting math lessons drag on far longer than I should have?).   I resisted this for a long time, but it has been quite helpful.

 

Lastly, I bit the bullet and added in another 45 minutes to an hour after rest time in the afternoon for handicrafts and 'keeping'.  We've been using this time for things like working on sewing felt bookmarks (our current handicraft project – more soon!), working in our nature journals, drawing, updating our maps (more on that soon, too) and adding pertinent bits from the week's reading to our timeline books.   Knowing that we have this time coming has helped our mornings to run more smoothly – we can keep moving along since we know we will have dedicated time for drawing and journaling and crafting later in the day.

 

Yes, I had to give up a little bit of my ideal of what our homeschool should look like.

 

Yes, I had to give up some of my online time.  I can't be as active here or over on the Forum as I'd like to be. 

 

Yes, I had to give up some of my personal time in the afternoon with the addition of the handicrafts-and-keeping hour.

 

But do you know what?  February has run a whole lot smoother than January did in our homeschool.  Not perfect, but better. 

 

That child who I am working with on a major discipline issue….well, it's too soon to say that it's been completely resolved, but I think we're headed in the right direction.  Not because I've done anything terribly drastic about it, but just because I have been more present and invested in that relationship.  The child feels validated, respected, and loved.  It's helping.

 

And, as ironic as it sounds, I have been refreshed.   Taking the time to do drawing and handicrafts and journaling WITH THEM means that I have had the time to do drawing and handicrafts and journaling too.  Because we are doing it all together, we're not at odds with each other.   I'm finding myself genuinely enjoying my children rather than being constantly irritated by them.   

 

I had to give up some of what I wanted - some of the 'personal time' that I thought I needed - but I have gained so much more.

 
Funny how that works sometimes, isn't it?

 

What Happens When the Boxes Don't All Get Checked

We didn't check off all the boxes on our school list last week.  

 

Now, there's a fairly good reason for that – we've all been fighting a pretty nasty sinus bug.  No one's really been 'lay in bed all day' sick, but no one's felt in top form either.  My love-to-check-the-boxes-self tried to push through anyhow - tried being the operative word.  It was a fail.  Those boxes still didn't get checked.  And there was stress and yelling and tension in our home.  Double fail.

 

That said, I can tell you a couple of things we did do.

 

We sat outside in the backyard on a blanket as still and quiet as we could to see if we might see any birds.  After a few minutes, we saw three crows (at least we think they were crows, it was too far away to know for sure) flying in the sky overhead, soaring and swooping gracefully.  Later we saw a sunbird gathering nectar from the flowers in the rose-apple tree.  Sunbirds are magnificent.  So are the flowers on the rose-apple tree.

 

We talked a little about what  it is exactly that makes a bird a bird anyhow.  It was the children who posed the question.  They haven't yet come up with any definitive answers.  They have wings – yes, but so do bats.  They fly – yes, but what about flamingos? Ostriches? Penguins?  The discussion is underway. 

 

Michelle read a section in a book about Leonardo da Vinci.  At the end of her narration she asked: "Did Leonardo da Vinci live before or after Christopher Columbus?"   "Why do you want to know?"  "Oh, I'm just curious about whether or not people knew the world was round or not yet when Leonardo was alive."   We looked it up after lunch: they were born only a year apart from each other.  Who knows if they ever met or not, but they were certainly men of the same age.  We added them both to the same century page in her timeline book.

 

Charlotte Mason tells us that education is the 'science of relations'….that learning takes place when connections are made….that it's not so much about how much we know, but how much we care.

 

We didn't check off all our boxes last week.   But we stopped and looked and wondered.  We related this week's reading to previous reading.  Connections were made.

 

Perhaps last week wasn't so much of a fail after all.

When the Routine Goes Awry

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about some of the ways in which routines can be very powerful tools to help our days run more smoothly, give us energy to focus on more important issues because we aren't trying to make decisions about the minutiae of our days on a daily basis, and, when constructed thoughtfully and prayerfully, provide us with opportunities for growth.  Don't get me wrong, routines are very good things.

 

But sometimes, on some of these days, things just don't go according to routine.  The train derails.  Take for example last Wednesday at our house.   All of my kids were awake by 6:15 (which almost never happens – they usually sleep until closer to 7 or so), there was already paper scattered all over the house before breakfast was even finished, and I had a complete and utter meltdown because my sweet husband had (very helpfully, I might add) had gone out and bought a huge bowl full of lettuce at the produce stand just outside our front gate since I needed to make a salad for his work party on Thursday evening.   I didn't want to deal with that lettuce on Wednesday morning, I didn't need it until Thursday evening.   But there it was, spilling out all over my counter, leaving no space to do anything else.  It had to be dealt with.  Rather than calmly dealing with the lettuce and moving on, I took out my angst by yelling at my children to clean up the mess they had made.  Two of them fled the scene crying.   All of this before 7:30 in the morning.  Oy.  It wasn't pretty.

 

I took some time to collect myself.   I apologized to the children who I had needlessly brought to tears.  We regrouped ourselves for our morning prayer and devotional time – a powerful reminder to all of us of how much we all – mama included – need Jesus every day, given the mistakes we had already made that morning.  We made a few tweaks to our normal routine to make up for the lost time and moved on with our day.  The lettuce got dealt with.  It made a fine salad to take to my husband's work party.   All's well that ends well.

 

I've been thinking a lot about this experience over the past few days.  Routines when they go well really are powerful tools that can help us grow, no doubt about that.   But what about days like this when everything goes awry?   I'm starting to wonder if there isn't even more potential for growth in those moments when things don't go just the way we expect.  I spent a lot of time during our recent vacation working through Sarah's fantastic new resource Teaching from Rest.  In the very first section of the book, she says this:

 

"Rest begins with acceptance.  Or, perhaps more accurately, with surrender…Whatever is getting in the way of your plan for the day – the toddler's tantrum, the messy bedroom, the sticky juice leaking all over the fridge and into the cracks of the drawers, the frustrated child, the irritable husband, the car that won't start, the vomiting dog, the pie spilled on the over door, [the lettuce all over your kitchen counter!]…whatever that intrusion into your grand plan for the day is, it's also an opportunity to enter in to rest. [CS Lewis wrote]: 'The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own' or 'real' life.  The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life – the life God is sending down one day by day; what one calls one's 'real life' is a phantom of one's own imagination.'  We can't really rest in God's care until we trust that He will indeed care for us….I am not meant to take on this task of teaching and raising my children in my own strength, and neither are you.  We are, however, meant to recognize every facet of our day as coming from the hand of God.  It all passes through His fingers first, and He uses it to make sure that we lean hard on Him."

~Sarah MacKenzie, Teaching from Rest

 

I will admit that on those days when everything goes smoothly, I'm tempted to act on my own strength, or to be prideful over my routine-managing ability.  It's in those moments when things don't go well that I am forced to turn to Him.  In some cases it may be to beg for strength and wisdom to react to the 'interruptions' rightly.   In other cases I fail, and need to repent.  I need to ask my kids to forgive me.  That's pretty humbling.  But that's where growth happens.  On Lettuce-Wednesday, I was reminded of my need to 'lean hard on Him' and not trust in my own strength and ability.  I was able to have a conversation about spiritual things with my children – something that may not have happened if there hadn't been lettuce all over my counter that morning. 

 

Routines are good.  They are needful.  Life goes better with them than trying to wing it every day.  But at the same time, I recognize that I need to hold my routines loosely.  I need to be open to the detours that come my way – as often they will – and look for how God is trying to speak to me through them.   I need to approach each day with this attitude:

 

"O Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely upon Your holy will. In every hour of the day reveal Your will to me. Bless my dealings with all who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day with peace of soul, and with the firm conviction that Your will governs all. In all my deeds and words guide my thoughts and feelings. In unforeseen events let me not forget that all are sent by You. Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without embittering or embarrassing others. Give me strength to bear the fatigue of this coming day with all that it will bring. Direct my will, teach me to pray, pray You Yourself in me. Amen."

~attributed to both St Basil the Great and Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow, which I found quoted here.

 

I first wrote this post about 2 weeks ago.  In the weeks that have passed since that time I have had numerous opportunities to live this out.  We've had many days when circumstances forced my well-laid plans to be set aside.  (This is part of the reason why my blogging break has been extended so much longer than I originally anticipated it would!)  It's been frustrating at times, but I am realizing the truth of these words.  In her book Glimpses of Grace, Gloria Furman reminds us that "God in is His grace does not always rescue us from difficult or painful circumstances.  God is about his business of redeeming us while we are in the midst of this broken world."  I am learning that regardless of my circumstances on any given day – on that day when our routine runs smoothly as well as on that day that it does not – God is working on my heart, teaching me to lean harder on His strength in my weakness, and conforming me to the image of His Beloved Son.

 

When push comes to shove, that's what really matters anyway.