On the Eve of a New School Year

It's that time of year again.  My Facebook feed is starting to blow up with first day of school pictures from various places all around the country.  Around these parts some of the private schools have already begun, and the public schools are gearing up to do so next week (I think?  I'm not entirely sure.  I guess I'll find out when the big yellow bus starts circulating the neighborhood again…)  And tomorrow, our family will jump on the 'back-to-school' bandwagon too. (Back to homeschool that is. While I can't say I've never contemplated sending my children off on the big yellow bus, that bus comes through my neighborhood at 6:30 in the morning, so mostly I don't contemplate it too seriously.  I don't know about you, but we don't actually get up that early….)

 

I did a fair amount of reading this summer.  Included in that reading was Charlotte Mason's second volume Parents and Children, James KA Smith's You Are What You Love, and Cindy Rollins' brand new book Mere Motherhood.  The only one of those that I had planned on reading was Parents and Children.  The other two were new releases that I couldn't quite resist waiting on, despite the number of books still languishing in my to-be-read basket.  More about all of those books in the weeks to come, I hope.  In very brief summary, all of them talk about the importance of nourishing our children with good ideas, training them in good habits, and the way those ideas and habits form their affections and influence the people they become (although coming at that theme from different angles).   All of them gave me a great deal of food for thought.

 

Then, last weekend we were at our church's annual family-style retreat.   Our bishop came to deliver the teaching portion of the retreat – a study of 2 Timothy – and all of a sudden all of the ideas that had been floating about in my mind from my reading this summer started coming together.

 

Have you noticed in Second Timothy that more than once, Paul mentions the 'shaping influence' of Timothy's mother and grandmother?  It was their teaching and training in Timothy's formative years that equipped him to live out his calling in the world.  That 'shaping influence' is the Word of God – the Word that is powerful and effective for everything.  And our end (Smith would say our 'telos') is Jesus.  He is our goal.  The One around whom our affections should be ordered.  He is also the One who gives us sustaining grace – grace for every moment.  Grace to continue with patience and perseverance even in the face of severe trials and testing.  (Cindy's book is a memoir of how these ideas played out in her family.)

 

At the end of the final teaching session on Sunday morning, we had a communion service.  In the Anglican liturgy, at the end of the service, we are commissioned to go back out into the world with these words: And now Father, send us out into the world to do the work You have given us to do, to love and serve you as faithful witnesses of Christ our Lord…

 

One of my children – the one who, if I'm honest, is the one that I find the most difficult to parent most of the time – was right there, snuggled up against me during that service.  This isn't the first time I've heard those words, as they are part of the liturgy week in and week out.  Nor is it the first time that I've had a child snuggled up in my lap at the point in the service.  But that day, with the words of 2 Timothy still ringing in my ears, and my nose resting against a child's head, I heard them in a new way.   That little one in my lap…and the other two who were scattered in other parts of the room with their friends – they are the work He has given me to do.  That is my mandate: to faithfully train these little ones God has placed in my care.  To nourish them with Good, True, and Beautiful ideas.  To guide them into good habits – liturgies if you will – that will guide their future lives.   To steep them in His Word and point them to Jesus.  To do all of this in cooperation with the Holy Spirit.

 

So tomorrow we embark on a new school year.  I have my books and lists ready to go – ready enough at least.  I'm excited about the new opportunities that the coming year will hold.  And I look forward to sharing some of those plans with you here in this space in the weeks ahead.  But in the midst of new books and new checklists and new supplies and new activities and new schedules….let us not forget the goal that we are aiming for.  The holy task we have been called to.   The sustaining grace we are given to carry it out – grace that is new every morning.  Let's love and serve Him as faithful witnesses right here in our homes.

 

 

Summer Plans

I've been seeing a lot of 'summer plan' posts popping up in various places on the internet.   I thought it might be fun to chat about that over here in this space too.  We are actually still in school mode here at our house, and will be until mid-July, and then will be traveling on the West Coast later in the summer.   So really…we don't really have the leisure of a long, lazy summer here.  That said, we are still in need of a little refreshment to ease the monotony that can lead to burnout.  

 

I don't make super-ambitious reading goals anymore, although I always have a running list of books I want to read going in the back of my mind.  The only reading that I'm for sure going to do this summer is to keep up with the I Promessi Sposi discussion, because I'm co-leading it. (I'm also REALLY enjoying it, so no chore there.) I am also slowly reading Athansius' On the Incarnation as my theology pick at the moment, and would like to finish that this summer and move on to something else.  I'd also like to read Charlotte Mason's Volume 2, Parents and Children, which is one of the remaining two that I haven't read yet.  Truth be told, I will likely be reading novels and other lighter fare more than anything else this summer since I anticipate most of my reading time will either be at the pool while the kids swim or while traveling in the car which doesn't really lend itself to dense reading material.  So, we'll see how we go.

We had a very disrupted school year so are still in school mode until mid-July, like I said. We did 4-day weeks with a 5th day for co-op this past year, so we are keeping the 4-days schedule and plan to take that 5th day for a weekly field trip now that co-op is finished for the year. There are several museums that we'd like to visit, and I'd also like to take some longer, full-day type nature walks. I also set aside much of our normal morning basket fare and we will be doing Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, drawing, backyard-type nature study, and some hands-on things related to the topics in CM's Elementary Geography instead. Later in the summer we'll be travelling on the West Coast, mostly to visit family, but hopefully will get some good outings and nature journaling opportunities along the way. So really my 'summer enrichment' will be mostly things that I do WITH the kids. Shakespeare, drawing, nature walks, museums and afternoons by the pool are good for Mama too.

The one other thing that I'd really like to do is do some follow-up study and research after Dawn's Swedish Drill presentation at the Conference (and her recent Mason Jar podcast, and her series of guest posts over at Afterthoughts) and come up with a simple baby-steps plan towards being more intentional about physical fitness in our home after our travel break. So that's my 'something new' to learn about.

 

 

I'm also working towards better habits in the morning - we've been letting far too much of the morning slip away from us before getting going with our school work.  Currently, I'm in the brainstorming mode.  I'd love it if you'd share your morning routine with me in the comments - perhaps your routine will help me think outside the box for improvements I can make to ours.

And that's the plan. What about you?

Reflections on Ivanhoe, Interruptions, and Personhood

Our current book discussion over on the AO Forum is Sir Walter Scott's Ivanhoe.  We are only about a third of the way through it, but thus far it is (to quote one of my dear book discussion friends) magnificent.  Scott really has a way with descriptions, both in his scenes as well as in his characters.   The insights we have gained into each character have been very thought provoking.   Consider the following interaction from chapter 16 between a waylaid knight lost in the woods as night draws near and a secretive friar (the 'anchorite') who is reluctant to let him in and seems to be trying to hide something:

"But how," replied the knight, "is it possible for me to find my way through such a wood as this, when darkness is coming on?  I pray you, reverend father, as you are a Christian, to undo your door, and at least point out to me my road."

"And I pray you, good Christian brother," replied the anchorite, "to disturb me no more.  You have already interrupted one pater, two aves, and a credo, which I, miserable sinner that I am, should, according to my vow, have said before moonrise."

 

~Sir Walter Scott, Ivanhoe

This interaction immediately struck me because my gut instinct was to dislike the Friar - he obviously hiding something and skirting around it (although the knight very cleverly draws him out, as you discover as you continue to read the chapter).   And yet, how often do I respond in the same way that he does?  To my children?  To my husband?  How often do I get disgruntled when I am interrupted in what I want to do or called out on something, and justify my disgruntled response based on the "virtue" behind what I got disrupted from?  A child interrupts my devotional or prayer time to come sit in my lap and I push them away.  Or they get into an argument in the other room while I am trying to complete some 'important' task on the computer and I need to break my thought process and step away with the task incomplete yet again.  Or my husband wants to talk and I'd rather read my book.  Or whatever.  The list of 'interruptions' could go on.

 

But what if maybe that 'disruption' is something that God is calling me to in that moment?  Attending to the needs of my children.  Cultivating my relationship with my husband.  Taking time to help a friend.    I keep coming back to some of the presentations made at the AO Conference this summer.    My children - and my husband too - were born People.  I love them.  They are not just 'projects'.  As a mother, wife, homeschooler, and homemaker, I need to learn seize those 10 minutes here and there – whether that is 10 minutes to attend to a child or 10 minutes to attend to my husband or 10 minutes to attend to myself or my personal project – and not get disgruntled when I can't seem to get more than that.   And I need to continue to cultivate a habit of keeping a running conversation with God in the back of my mind, so that my communion with Him is uninterrupted even when my focused devotional time is.

 

I kinda think if I could remember those things - that my interruptions are People, that 10 minutes may be all I have, and that He is ever present with me – I would be less disgruntled when someone comes knocking at my door.

Reflections on Relationship: Enriching Relationships with the People Around Us

This is part three in my planning series, Reflections on Relationship.  You can read the other parts here:

Introduction

Enriching Relationship with God

 

Today, let's consider how we can enrich relationships with those around us – our family and our community.   Charlotte Mason's educational motto was "Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life."   While the other three aspects of relationship we are considering – God, Mankind, and God's Created Universe – all fall under the heading of 'education is a life', today's topic falls under 'education is an atmosphere' and 'education is a discipline'. 

 

Education is an Atmosphere

"When we say that education is an atmosphere we do not mean that a child should be isolated in what may be called a 'child environment' specially adapted and prepared, but that we should take into account the educational value of his natural home atmosphere both as regards persons and things and should let him live freely among his proper conditions."  (Charlotte Mason, Volume 6, p. 94)

 

In When Children Love to Learn, Jack Beckman speaks thus of the learning atmosphere we should strive to cultivate:

 

"The atmosphere is supportive, nurturing, and caring, reflecting a sense of safety balanced with challenge.  Good habits of mind and body are deliberately encouraged both in teacher and student.  A sense of community is present – praying and feeding on the Word of God, solving problems, and gathering around vital learning together." (p.55)  

 

I love the picture that he paints of a learning community 'gathering around learning together.'   He also speaks of:

 

"our role as parents and teachers is to reflect the model of our Lord Jesus in relationship with these little ones – to come alongside and encourage them in their ignorance and sin toward a better way…When a child chooses to act in accordance with his fallenness, this time is best used to instruct the child in relationship." (p.59)

 

I see here the idea of cultivating a mentoring/discipling relationship with my children, of fostering a learning community within our family rather than a checklist-driven us-and-them mentality.  How to go about doing this is a little bit tricky because much of it relies on consistently checking my own attitude and setting aside my own convenience.   It means watching how I react to them in our learning times or in times of correction and being willing to take advantage of teachable moments.  It means repenting when I fail and asking my children to forgive me.   I hope (I pray!) that this kind of attitude shift will be a byproduct of attending to my own personal spiritual vitality.

 

On a more practical level, I have thought about some ways that we can restructure our learning time to better foster relationship and community.  For us right now that has meant putting Bible back into our Morning Time, as I mentioned before.  It has meant dropping French completely, at least for now, because of the tension it always caused among all of us.  It has also meant separating everyone for memory work/recitation so that each person can learn their poetry and Bible passages at their own rate rather than fostering a sense of competition or frustration due to children who memorize at different speeds. 

 

In addition to working to foster a greater sense of community in our home, we will also participate in the community around us through hospitality, attending a weekly co-op, and being a part of our church family.

 

Education is a Discipline

"By this formula we mean the discipline of habits formed definitely and thoughtfully whether habits of mind or of body." (Charlotte Mason, Volume 6, p. 99)

 

Ah yes, habit training.  This is one aspect of Charlotte Mason's philosophy that's always made me a little bit squirmy.  And so I have tended to be less than intentional about it.   That said, I was struck by some of Maryellen St Cyr's comments about habit training in When Children Love to Learn:

 

"The necessity of forming habits is an integral part of this philosophy as they aid one in functioning in relationships.  These habits are not tacked onto one's life as another feat to be mastered in a performance culture, but are used as valuable tools in the intellectual, spiritual, and physical development in relationship to oneself, God, and others…Therefore, it is the business of education and the function of the educator to train each child we have been entrusted with in the formation of habits that will allow the child to truly live." (p. 89,99)

 

The idea that habits 'aid one in functioning in relationships' set off all kinds of lightbulbs in my mind.  One area that we have really been lacking in is helping our children to develop habits of courtesy – things like table manners, greeting people, responding to people who greet you, how to treat visitors in our home.  While I could offer a lot of valid-sounding excuses for this, I won't.  The fact is, whatever has happened in the past, we still need to work on these things  now.  Failing to attend to them has at times disrupted the harmony of our home and relationships with others.  So as much as intentional habit training has always made me kind of squirmy, we are going to work on these things this year starting with table manners – things like sitting properly in your chair, not starting to eat until after prayer, not making rude comments about the food, eating quietly with mouths closed, not leaving the table until you have been excused…you get the idea.   I'm still working out exactly what this will look like in practice, but it is a goal for this year.  Once we have made some progress on that front, we will probably move on to dealing courteously with others (greetings and responding to greeting appropriately, etc) and habits of hospitality (treating others courteously when they visit our home).

 

How do you intend to enrich relationships with those around you this year?

What are they Imitating?

Not too long ago, I found this laying around the house:

 

 

On the left, is my to-do list.  On the right, is 4 year old Elizabeth's to-do list.  Cute, isn't it?  I thought so anyhow.

 

 

Later that same week, I found these.  On the left is a drawing that 9 year old Michelle did, on the left is 4 year old Elizabeth's copy.  She's pretty good for 4, isn't she?  Maybe I'm biased, I am her mother after all. J

 

Now, I don't share these just because they are cute, even though they are.  Finding both of these things within a few days of each other was a reminder to me that these little ones in my care are imitators. They are watching, and they will imitate what they see around them.  I've been chewing on the implications of that ever since. 

 

Some of those implications are educational.  The theme of the Circe Conference this past summer was "A Contemplation of Imitation".  I've been slowly listening my way through the audio recordings of that conference over the past few months, so this theme has been running through my mind anyhow.  I  also really liked Jennifer's article on narration over at Expanding Wisdom – one of the points she makes is that narration is a form of imitation.   What are we holding before our children for them to 'imitate'?  Are we using books and materials that show them the good, the true, and the beautiful?  It's worth thinking about.

 

I think perhaps the most profound reflection I've had on this topic over the last few weeks, however, is that these little ones are imitating ME.  This isn't a new insight – I've even written about it before.  But it was a much needed reminder – a very convicting one.  They are imitating me.  What am I showing them?

 

I've seen this played out in different ways in the past few weeks.  The last couple of months have been busy and at times stressful for our family.   There have been times that I have let that stress get the better of me and I've snapped at a child and barked orders as we've hurried out the door or tried to get everyone tucked into bed (finally!) for the night.   And you know what?  More often than not, that results in cranky, ornery, reluctant children.  On the other hand, when I've chosen to stay calm, be patient, go with the flow and let go of my (sometimes unrealistic) expectations things have generally gone more smoothly, even under pressure.  They feed off my attitude - they imitate my attitudes.

 

Charlotte Mason once said: "…the child's most fixed and dominant habits are those…which the child picks up for himself through the close observation of that is said and done, felt and thought, in his home."   The Apostle Paul said: "Therefore, I exhort you, be imitators of me." (I Corinthians 4:16) 

 

Lord Jesus, infuse the atmosphere of our home with peace and joy and life.  Mold me and shape me into someone who, like the Apostle Paul, is worthy of imitation.  

From my Commonplace: On Integrity

A much needed 'kick in the pants' this morning from a wise mentor:

 

"As a matter of fact, it is easier to do the definite work of school or profession than the easily evaded, indefinite work which belongs to the home daughter [or home mother!]"

 

"We know that an integer is a whole number; and a man of integrity is a whole man, complete and sound.  Like Rome itself, such a man is not built in a day."

 

"The whole worker goes at his job with a will, does it completely and with pleasure, and has more leisure for his own diversions than the poor 'ca'-canny' creature whose jobs never get done."

 

"It is well to make up your mind that there is always a next thing to be done, whether in work or play; and that the next thing, be it ever so trifling, is the right thing; not so much for its own sake, perhaps, as because, each time we insist upon ourselves doing the next thing, we gain power in the management of that unruly filly, Inclination.  But to find 'ye the next thynge' is not after all so simple.  It is often a matter of selection."

 

"What is worth beginning is worth finishing, and what is worth doing is worth doing well."

 

"It is worthwhile to make ourselves go on with the thing we are doing until it is finished.  Even so, there is temptation to scamp in order to get at the new thing; but let us do each bit of work as perfectly as we know how, remembering that each thing we turn out is a bit of ourselves, and we must leave it whole and complete; for this is Integrity."

 

"[Integrity] rests upon the foundations of diligence, attention, and perseverance.  In the end, integrity makes for gaiety, because the person who is honest about his work has time to play, and is not secretly vexed by the remembrance of things left undone or ill done."

 

~ Charlotte Mason, Ourselves, p.167-172

 

 

(Interesting addendum:  I read the chapter from which these quotes are taken Tuesday morning in my quiet time, and typed them up Tuesday afternoon with the intention of sharing them here. Then, Tuesday evening, our Bible Study group discussed Colossians 3:18-4:1.  Verses 22-24 particularly jumped out at me in light of these thoughts: "Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.  Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance.  It is the Lord Christ whom you serve."  Okay, Lord, I'm listening....)

 

Click here for more Words

The Power of Routines

Thoughts on School Education: Chapter 2 "Docility and Authority in the Home and School Part II: How Authority Behaves"

 

In this second chapter, Charlotte gets into  specifics of what 'authority' ought to look like.  I have actually written before on this topic – this chapter was assigned reading during the 20 Principles study last year.  It was good for me to go back and review the ideas in that post – I think maybe I need to hang that list up somewhere to remind myself what healthy authority looks like.  This time through this chapter, however, I noticed a something new.  (Isn't that the sign of a good book?  Something you can read again and again and see something new each time?)  That's what I want to talk about today.

 

"So far as the daily routine of small obediences goes, we help them thus to fulfill a natural function – the response of docility to authority." (p.20)

 

"Now to work a machine such as a typewriter or a bicycle, one must, before all things, have practice; one must have got into the way of working it involuntarily, without giving any thoughts to the matter: and to give a child this power over himself – first in response to the will of another, later, in response to his own, is to make a man of him." (p.20)

 

"…the parents are slow to perceive that it is not the soothing routine of lessons which is exhausting to the little girl, but the fact that she goes through the labor of decision twenty times a day, and not only that, but the added fatigue of a contest to get her own way.  Every point in the day's routine is discussed, nothing comes with the comforting ease of a matter of course; the child always prefers to do something else, and commonly does it.  No wonder the poor little girl is worn out." (p.21)

 

"They are careful to form habits upon which the routine of life runs easily…" (p.22)

 

Did you notice a theme running through these quotations from this chapter?   These points brought home to me again the idea that routines are the keys to habit.   I've had the idea of routines on my mind a lot lately, since one of my main 'takeaways' from our reading of Desiring the Kingdom was the importance of habits and routines.  After tweaking our evening routine to better reflect our values, I discovered that a good routine provided us with a framework upon which to hang other habits we'd like to develop.  For example, having an evening routine in place that helped to remove some of the chaos from our supper hour has made it easier to focus on helping our children develop better table manners.   These thoughts from Charlotte have me wondering if we can take the importance of routines a step further – our routines give us "rails" to help us move through our days more easily and to practice some of the more 'moral' habits such as obedience.   When we have established good routines in our home, we do things just because it is the next thing to do – we don't have to think about it.   In our home, we have breakfast, we have our morning devotional time, and then we go do chores.  It's just what we do.   Occasionally we have some hiccups along the way, but generally we don't have big showdowns over obedience when morning chore time comes because it's just time to do them.   I think perhaps this is an example of what Charlotte was trying to get at here – our routine provides us with the opportunity to get daily practice in "small obediences", thereby helping to develop our obedience "muscles" if that makes sense.

 

Having these kind of routines in place also helps us to save energy for the bigger and more 'out-of-the ordinary' decisions that need to be made.  We don't spend all day needing to decide "what comes next?" because, barring any unusual circumstances, we already know.  As a mother, I have more energy to focus on discussing big ideas and heart issues with my children.  I am calmer and better able to maintain a proper balance of authority in my home.  The children live in the security the "comforting ease of [things happening] as a matter of course" to borrow Charlotte's terminology.   In a recent thread over on the AO Forum, we were discussing how we could develop a relaxed atmosphere in our homes.  I realized that having a consistent routine in place is a big key to that – not a rigid schedule – but a general flow to the day where we all sort of know what to expect.   I've noticed that on weekends or the odd weekday that my husband is home from work – when our normal weekday routine goes out the window – we all tend to be more cranky and fractious with each other.  I can't help but wonder if that's because we've lost the security that our routine provides.  (Perhaps my next project needs to be to consider a reasonable routine for weekends and holidays!)

 

All of these things taken together have helped me to realize that routines can be a really powerful tool in our life-hacks toolbox.  Beyond the practical benefits of smoother and more relaxed day, routines can also be a tool we can use to help ourselves and our families to grow in wisdom and virtue.  In her book A Mother's Rule of Life, Holly Pierlot explains how she borrowed from the monastic tradition to help develop routines in her home that would help her grow in holiness:

"When Mother Teresa began writing her Rule, she didn't begin with the schedule.  Instead she began writing out the 'principles and spiritual goals' that defined the mission of the Missionaries of Charity…It was only after Mother Teresa had first defined specifically what she was doing and why she was going to do it, that she next drew up a simple schedule based on that mission…"

 

It is worth really carefully (and prayerfully) considering what goals we have, what habits we want to develop, what virtues we need to practice and then seeking to establish routines that will reflect our values, give us opportunities to move towards our goals, and in that way grow in grace and virtue.  In her series "Education is for Life", Mystie explores this idea and walks through some practical ways that we can flesh out the big idea "principles" that we want to live by.  I'm hoping to revisit this series during our summer break as I consider our plans for the fall.

 

Charlotte closes this chapter with an encouraging reminder:

"Let us not despise the days of small things nor grow weary in the well-doing…" (p.23)

 

Those little things?  They are worth persevering in because they can have a far greater influence than we might ever think.

 

DTK: Concluding Thoughts

So, we’ve finally finished Desiring the Kingdom.  (Actually if you really want to know, I finished it over a month ago because I was chomping at the bit to move on to something else. J)  It’s been an interesting journey, to say the least.   I had high hopes for this book since I think Smith raises some crucial questions…questions that everyone really ought to consider whether or not they are involved in the field of education.  Considering the whole person and how our habits and practices affect our whole person is important.  For parents and teachers, considering not only the content but also the method of our instruction and the message that sends to our students is important.  Unfortunately, the book fell a little flat for me.  I didn’t particularly care for Smith’s writing style, nor did I agree with him in many places, especially on some points of theology.   I can’t say that I would recommend the book especially given that there are other resources out there that are more helpful and more encouraging to help us to explore similar ideas.  Nevertheless, I can say that I’m glad that I went ahead and finished the whole thing.   Here are a few thoughts that I am taking away from this study:

 

This was the first time that I’ve participated in an online, blog-based book study like this and I appreciated the format – I think especially because this turned out to be a challenging book that was a bit of a slog at points.  I appreciated being able to bounce thoughts and ideas off of others who were wrestling with the same points and being able to hear their take on them.  It also provided the accountability that I needed to finish to the end – I may not have otherwise.  So thanks, ladies, for making this a rewarding experience even though the book itself was a bit disappointing.

 

I came away from this book with the sense that I need to go back and soak myself in Charlotte Mason for a while.  Many of the positive points made in this book echoed her ideas very strongly, only she said them better. J I have the sense that if we want to practice the kind of education that Smith is proposing, following CM principles gives us a good road map for doing so.  Time to get back to the roots. 

 

I have found myself considering more seriously the role of practices in formation – the fact that sometimes even the littlest, most benign practices can have a tremendous shaping influence.   That our method of education says as much or more as the content of our lessons.  We’ve already made some tweaks to the way we do things around here, and I’m sure there will be more to come.

 

One idea that wasn’t ever mentioned in the book, but that I came to realize as we’ve considered these ideas over the past couple months is that routines give us a framework to hang habit development and character training from.  I mentioned here how we made some adjustments to our evening routine and how that has made working on smaller habits like table manners, cleaning up quickly and cheerfully, and so on much more manageable.  Chaos is more controlled, and the opportunity to practice these habits are naturally built into the day.  I don’t do well with character/habit training treated as a special project or school subject  - the opportunity to work on habits really needs to be ingrained in our day if it’s going to have any kind of sustainability around here.   I’m playing around with our morning routine now to see how we can make similar adjustments there.

 

Another idea I’ve found myself thinking about a lot is the idea of counter-formation.   If we want our children (or our students or ourselves) to be able to resist being formed by the negative ‘liturgies’ of secular culture, it’s not enough to tell them what not to do or remove their exposure to those things.  (Besides – no matter how much we try to shelter our kids, we can’t protect them from everything, and someday they will grow up and it will no longer be our job to shelter them anyhow.)  It’s important to fill the gap made by those things with something better – something that will have a “counter-formational” effect.   Charlotte Mason talks about replacing bad habits with good ones, and I’m beginning to think that perhaps this principle can apply to ideas and influences as well.

 

And that’s all folks. J 

 

 

 

Desiring the Kingdom Book Club, Chapter 3

So, I haven’t had a ton to say about chapter 3.  In this chapter, Smith dissects several common ‘liturgies’ of our culture in order to show just how powerful these things can be in directing our desires and affections.   He gets a little controversial in some places, and I haven’t made a lot of comment on this chapter mostly because I didn’t want to get into all of that controversy.  However, I do see the point he is trying to make: these things do have an influence on our lives.  They do make a difference in what our hearts desire.  Even the most subtle of these practices have the power to draw our hearts away from desiring the Kingdom.   In this final section of the chapter, he gives an example from a novel about  a university student who entered the university with the lofty goal of increasing her knowledge and enhancing the life of her mind, but finds herself drawn away by the stereotypical rituals and practices of a university campus – frat parties and the like.  Those were just the things that one does at university after all, right?

 

In the conclusion of the chapter, he reminds us that, assuming our goal is to produce Christian disciples, then we ought to be striving to resist these kinds of ‘secular’ liturgies and ultimately to provide a counter-formation: liturgies, practices that pull our hearts towards Him rather than away.  How could the university student in the example have been better prepared not to be drawn away by the temptations of secular campus life?  How can we effectively counter the secular culture that surrounds us and keep our hearts focused on His Kingdom?

 

Well, Smith hasn’t told us yet, although I expect that that is the direction he is heading in Part 2 of the book.  I’m curious to see where he goes with it.  In the meantime,  I’ve been thinking about that a bit, however.   Reading this final section of Chapter 3 reminded me a bit of a talk I had listened to by Christopher Perrin awhile back entitled Learning to Love What Must Be Done.  The funny thing about it is that he does actually cite Smith in his talk, thematically they are very similar.  No wonder I was reminded of it as I read this week! (Click Here and scroll down to the 2011 Conference Recordings if you want to give it a listen.)   I re-listened to it while washing dishes this weekend, and some of the suggestions  towards this end that he made:

 

• It starts with us.   If we want our students (or children) to be lovers of truth, goodness and beauty, we need to model it.   We need to become contagious lovers of truth, goodness, and beauty ourselves.
• We need to help develop a sense of wonder and awe in our students.   We want them to marvel in amazement over those glimpses of glory that are to be seen everywhere if only we have eyes to see.   Our choice of teaching materials and teaching methods will be effected by this consideration.
• Linked to the above, we need to give them time to ponder and reflect and discover and think.   It is important that we don’t cram their lives so full of activity that they don’t have space to do this. 

 

(Hmm…once again, I’m seeing shades of Charlotte Mason and Poetic Knowledge….)

 

One other thought that has occurred to me that I haven’t seen mentioned yet by Smith, or by Perrin in his talk that I recall at least, is that ultimately, our hearts won’t be pointed towards the Kingdom unless the Holy Spirit draws them.  I absolutely agree with the idea that as human beings we aren’t minds in vats, and that our habits and practices really do matter.   But I think often about my own upbringing – I would say I was raised in the type of church environment that Smith descries in this chapter – secular culture was countered in messages targeted to my rational self only (don’t do this! don’t do that!). The emphasis was very much on avoiding what was BAD rather than actively seeking out that which was GOOD.  Yet, I lived in the midst of those practices and messages in the public school I attended, the movies and music and books I was exposed to without much thought.  And yet, somehow, I didn’t completely fall prey to their lure.  This I credit to the power and protection of the Holy Spirit.  Somehow, my heart was continually drawn back towards Him.  He was at work anyway, even in the midst of a formational environment that was less than ideal.  This doesn’t negate the importance of considering our practices and what kind of effect they have on us and  our students or our children, but when it boils down to it all we are really doing is preparing the soil – it is He who gives the increase.  

 

Click Through for More Thoughts on This Section!

 

 

 

Desiring the Kingdom Book Club: On Realigning Vision and Practices

Our reading assignment this week was the first portion of Chapter 3.   Quite honestly, I don’t really have a whole lot to say about this section. Basically, he is talking about cultural exegesis - examining the liturgies (practices) of our culture at large so as to discern whether they are pulling us towards our vision of the good life or away from it. While I think this is a good practice to have, my thoughts have been veering far more towards my own personal practices and those of my family, so that's what I want to talk about today.

 

Early on in our book club, I realized that I really didn’t have a clear sense of vision – what is my vision of “the good life”?  Towards what is my heart aiming?  I know very well what it should be, what I want it to be.   The good life is the life lived for the glory of God, the life that chooses to “be content in all situations” and that embraces the good along with the bad with the recognition that it all leads to my sanctification and His greater glory.  But if I'm  honest, somewhere along the way my vision has sort of slipped.  If I’m honest, the first thing that comes to my mind when I think “the good life” now is that the good life is peaceful, quiet, and comfortable with no one to bother me or ruffle my feathers. (I could very easily be a hobbit living out my days in a peaceful hobbit-hole!)  It is a selfish vision of life centered on my own personal comfort.  

 

Ouch.

 

I’ve been thinking about where along the way my vision shifted, and why.  There are a variety of reasons that I can think of: being raised with a rules-based idea of Christianity, little sins that I've let go untended, and plain ol' weariness (physical, emotional, and spiritual) all figure in. 

 

Now, this all has me thinking about where I ought to adjust our practices to help my heart realign with the vision.   Some of those are bigger picture things – like considering how to plan our next furlough to allow for true rest and combat that sense of weariness.  Some of those are smaller picture things that I can put into practice now.  As a matter of fact, just this past week we revamped our evening routine.  This was partly inspired by Mystie's post last week -  just as she shared that she is often tempted to retreat into the computer and hide from her children in the morning, I admit that I am tempted to do this to escape the chaos of our house in the evening.  It occurred to me that this 'practice' of mine is connected to that vision of the good life being centered on my own personal comfort rather than a willingness to embrace the messiness of our family life.  It also sent the message that we just wanted the children to go away and get in bed already and that family devotional time was just something tacked on to the end of the day - an obligation to get through because we should rather than a time focused on growing in our sense of wonder, awe, and admiration of the God we serve.

So now, rather than letting chaos reign as it did previously, we are trying something like this:

Kids clean up, shower, and help set the table while I make dinner (occasionally one of them will come cook with me.)

We eat, with the goal of it being not later than 6:30pm. 

After dinner, I go clean up the kitchen.  (My husband, bless him, has done this for the past 10 years of our marriage, but I realized that if I was serious about breaking my bad habit of hiding by getting on the computer, I needed to replace it with something else tangible to do during this time.)   Dan and the kids will spend this time doing something special together - sometimes a game, sometimes an episode of a television program, sometimes some other silly project like folding paper airplanes.  This is assuming that everything got cleaned up and everyone showered before dinner...this is their motivation if you will.  If you still need to take a shower or pick up your room, then you miss out! :)

When kitchen clean up is done, we join back together again for our evening Bible story and read-aloud time before sending little ones off to bed by 8 or so (the oldest is allowed to sit up in her room quietly reading or drawing for a little longer).

It remains to be seen how this will all play out in the long run, but I do have great hope that we are headed in the right direction with this plan.  I kind of see it as a framework not only to take care of the chaos-problem, but to cultivate habits of selflessness, serving one another, enjoying one another, and growing in grace together as a family.
 

Click through for more thoughts and insights on this section!

Desiring the Kingdom Book Club - Chapter 2,"Love Takes Practice"

Summary

Smith starts the chapter by reminding us that human beings “can’t not be lovers, we can’t not be desiring some kingdom. The question is not whether we love but what we love.”   He uses an example of our consumer-culture to illustrate: in a sense, marketing companies have gotten something right because they have tapped into our loves, our desires.  The response of the church (of Christian education and discipleship) should be to redirect those desires rather than to redirect thoughts.   

 

Smith proposes that the way to redirect our loves/desires is through practices: “routines and rituals that inscribe particular ongoing habits into our character, such that they become second nature to us.”  He cites research that has found that these habits, these practices, become ‘automatic’ over time.  This is equally true of habits we seek to form intentionally (such as practicing the piano) and those that are formed unintentionally by the practices that we are naturally immersed in.  (This reminded me of how Charlotte Mason says that habits  of one sort or another will be formed – it’s better to take care that they are the habits we want to be formed!)  

 

Smith differentiates between “thin” and “thick” habits – “thin” ones being things like brushing our teeth or watching the news after dinner – they don’t necessarily inform our identity and core values.   “Thick” habits “say something about us (our identity) and continue to shape us into that kind of person” – anything that is “meaningful and identity significant”.   It isn’t always cut-and-dried, sometimes the line can be fuzzy.  I still really appreciated the fact that he drew a distinction here, however.    Sometimes I feel like some of the “CM style habit training resources” out there try to lump “thin” habits like cleanliness into the same category as “thick”, moral habits such as obedience, one reason that sometimes discussions about habit training make me get all squirmy.  I happen to view them as two different things and feel that they need to be approached in different ways, so I appreciated Smith acknowledging a difference here too. 

 

(I’ve written before on my take on CM-style habit training here and here – as I went back to re-read those posts, I realized that a lot of that applies to what Smith is trying to say in this chapter as well.)

 

 

Thoughts

In this chapter, there is a section in which Smith encourages us to do a “practices audit”.  He provides us with a number of questions to help us evaluate our practices – what they are, and what we feel that they should be, if they are having the effect that we want them to have or not.  This is a fantastic idea which I unfortunately have not had the time or mental energy to tackle yet, but I hope to soon. ;)

 

That said, I have been thinking a lot over the past several weeks about my vision, the vision I want to present to my children, and if our practices align with this vision.   I have some thoughts percolating on this that I had intended to share here, but find myself not quite able to articulate them yet.  So, stay tuned. J 

 

Click through to read more thoughts on this section!

 

Some Habit Training Notes for the New Year

During our recent break from school, I took the time to do a fairly quick re-reading of Charlotte Mason's first volume, Home Education.   I am really glad that I took the time to do this as I have most definitely gained some fresh inspiration for the coming year!  I made some notes of things that stood out to me to apply this coming year and thought that I would share them here both for my benefit (organized and in one place!) and perhaps for yours too.  I shared my nature study/outdoor time notes here and my lesson planning notes here.

 

Today I want to share some of my gleanings on habit training and parenting in general.  I struggle at times with motivation and consistency in this regard and need all the help I can get!

 

Training in the habit of obedience (or any habit) and the training of the conscience are GRADUAL processes.  It's okay if I don't see results overnight.  The goal is to help the child gradually enlist their will to choose what is right.   My part is to continue on guiding and training with Tact, Watchfulness, and Persistance.

 

"I am, I can, I ought, I will."  This was Charlotte Mason's motto for students.  I love what Jack Beckman has to say about this motto in Chapter 2 of When Children Love to Learn:

 

            "I am a child of God

            I ought to do His will

            I can do what He tells me,

            And by His grace, I will.

 

'I am a child of God.'  How freeing to realize the wonder of the relationship of a child with her heavenly Father – the flow of love and grace in the child's life as she learns to live under His care and authority.

'I ought to do His will.' The child has a standard to live by found in the very Word of God.  She has a place to go to find out about all the 'oughts' in life,  but a place of forgiveness and acceptance as well.

'I can do what He tells me.' The very real presence of the Holy Spirit in the child's life makes obedience to His precepts possible.

'And by His grace, I will.' It is by grace the child has been saved, and it is by grace that the child is preserved and sustained as she walks the walk of faith, life, and learning."

 

Important truths to remember (and share with my children) as I handle situations of training and discipline this coming year.

 

There is more to habit training than external training in morality.  True morality is the product of a heart that has been changed by God.  Therefore, our first goal in training our children in morality and good habits is to point them to the wonder and greatness of our Saviour, to pray for the Spirit to work in their lives, and implant in them (model!!) a deep love for His Word.

 

"Accept the parable: the parent is little better in this matter than the witless bee; it is his part to deposit, so to speak, within reach of the soul of the child some fruitful idea of God; the immature soul makes no effort towards that idea, but the living Word reaches down, touches the soul,––and there is life; growth and beauty, flower and fruit." (Vol 1, p.344)

 

"…he will have infinite need of faith and prayer, tact and discretion, humility, gentleness, love, and sound judgement, if he would present his child to God, and the thought of God to the soul of his child." (Vol. 1, p.345)

 

"Again, the knowledge of God is distinct from morality, or what the children call 'being good', though 'being good' follows from that knowledge. But let these come in their right order. Do not bepreach the child to weariness about 'being good' as what he owes to God, without letting in upon him first a little of that knowledge which shall make him good." (Vol. 1, p. 347)

 

"It is as the mother gets wisdom liberally from above, that she will be enabled for this divine task." (p. 348)

 

"A word about the reading of the Bible. I think we make a mistake in burying the text under our endless comments and applications. Also, I doubt if the picking out of individual verses, and grinding these into the child until they cease to have any meaning for him, is anything but a hindrance to the spiritual life. The Word is full of vital force, capable of applying itself. A seed, light as thistledown, wafted into the child's soul will take root downwards and bear fruit upwards. What is required of us is, that we should implant a love of the Word…" (Vol. 1, p. 349)

 

What We've Learned - September 2013

Education is an Atmosphere

“If interruptions annoy me, and private cares make me impatient; if I shadow the souls about me because I myself am shadowed, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”  (from If by Amy Carmichael)

 

“Discontent will never change the world, define yourself with gratitude…when you are thankful for what God has given you do, you are fit to do it…When you are at peace with God and with His will for your life, you are equipped to do great things.” (from Fit to Burst by Rachel Jankovich)

 

Goodies that arrived in the last sea-freight container - some for school, some for Christmas, and a new coffee plunger for mama...

 

Education is a Discipline

We’ve decided to tackle table-manners in earnest with the kids.  This month, we’ve been working on staying at the table until you have been given  permission to be excused.   We are also working on developing various aspect of respect, depending on the needs of various children – both in the way we treat other people as well as the way we treat our ‘things’.    And Mama’s habit?  Staying offline until we are done with all our chores and schoolwork in the morning.  Amazing what a difference this makes in the flow of our days.

 

We all knew that the real purpose of Cuisenaire rods is just for building, right?

 

Education is a Life

Michelle – Age Almost-8 – Grade 2

We have completed weeks 18-21 of AO Year 1, and I am pleased with how it is going.   Among other readings, we finished D’Aulaire’s Benjamin Franklin and have moved on to George Washington.   We are also enjoying the mix of legend and fact in Our Island Story – we’ve read about the coming of the Saxons and the rise of King Arthur to power.  Eskimo Twins is another favorite story at the moment. (This is a substitution we made in place of Paddle to the Sea.)  She also really likes Wild Animals from Africa, but it is starting to drive me crazy…maybe I need to pass this one off to her for independent reading to finish?  I don’t think we’ll use this one again.  We’ll probably be in the States the year James does Year 1, so we may just do the Burgess Bird Book as scheduled.  Anyhow.  We are still doing a weekly notebook page related to one of our readings and her output has slowly increased to a full paragraph (4-5 sentences).   Now to tackle her spelling…

 

In Math U See Beta, we have finished Lesson 9.  Michelle picked up on the concept of regrouping in addition pretty easily, so we are still moving along at a much quicker pace than we did through Alpha.   I guess I didn’t need to worry about being “behind” last year, because we are gaining a lot of ground now, I’m guessing in part because we took our time with mastering our basic adding and subtracting facts.   We continue to use MEP Year 1 (almost finished) as a supplement for problem solving and alternate ways of looking at numbers, as well as Calculadder drills for continual facts practice.

 

In nature study, we’ve been able to identify several of the birds who have been visiting our yard – in particular the speckled mousebird.  We’re pretty sure one has built a nest in the bush bordering our backyard.  We are also enjoying our exploration of the properties of light in Science in the Beginning.  Our memory project last month was a speech of Oberon’s from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, which was a hit with all of the kids.  (They are starting to get really excited about Shakespeare, my English-lit-major sister will be so pleased.)  We also started doing a weekly art class with another homeschooling family.  Michelle sometimes feels like she is missing out on the social life at school, so it’s been good for her to have an opportunity to do something with another homeschooler (there aren’t many in our city).

 

Homeschool Art

 

James – Age 5 – “Unofficial” Kindergarten

James is so much fun to work with.  We have worked through Lessons 1-10 in the McGuffey Primer (you can see the gist of the idea here..I’m hoping to do another post on our take on this basic idea soon).  He’s really starting to pick up on reading, and read Green Eggs and Ham to me last week with only a little bit of help.   He also loves doing nature journaling (and is often the one to spot new birds), drawing and memory work with us.  We are slowly moving through MEP 1A (taking 3-4 days to work through each ‘daily’ lesson), and he is enjoying that.  We’ve been learning about greater-than and less-than, patterns, and one-to-one correspondence.

 

James is meticulous about his handwriting.

 

Elizabeth – Age 3-1/2 – Tagging Along

Elizabeth is doing better in the “not interrupting” department J Perhaps this month we need to tackle the idea that scissors are for cutting paper (not holes in your clothes or your sister’s hair….)

 

The best part of homeschool art: it keeps the little ones occupied too.

 

 

Mama – AO Year 4

I’ve read Weeks 1-4 in AO Year 4 and am REALLY enjoying it.   I’m finding Robinson Crusoe much more readable than I ever imagined, and Tennyson’s poetry is lovely as well (I’ve never been a poetry buff).  History is probably my favorite ‘subject’ at the moment.  I’ve even made several connections between the Year 4 history readings and Waverley (the Scott novel I am reading with a group on the AO Forum)!   And this quote from Poor Richard (about Benjamin Franklin) just made me smile:  “Ben ferreted among the bookshops with the sniffing eagerness of a rabbit hound, finding treasure in old and new books, reading with delight the new thriller called Robinson Crusoe, and wondering with all of London if it was really a true story or a marvelous fake by a Grub Street genius.”  Some of the ideas that I’ve drawn out and am pondering: Are factual stories superior to fiction?  Is it better to be captured and risk death or live in hiding for the rest of your life?  How does one know what is the right and wrong thing to do in a complicated situation?

 

Have I mentioned that I love AO?