Parents and Children: A Review

So, I told you here that I would try to share a bit with you about my summer reading.  I told you about Mere Motherhood already.  Today, I'd love to tell you a bit about Parents and Children.

 

Parents and Children is Charlotte Mason's second volume.  I picked it up this summer because it was one of the remaining two hold-outs of her six-volume series that I had not read yet.  (Volume 5, Formation of Character, is now the last hold-out.  Hopefully sometime in the next year I'll be able to get to that one, so that I can say that I've read them all. J  I started reading the Volumes in 2011, I think.  Take heart, dear Mama feeling intimidated by those six volumes.  Slow and steady wins the race!)   It is really a series of stand-alone essays, each somewhat distinct from the others.   That said, there is still a definite theme that runs through all of them and a 'big picture' idea that I am taking away.

 

What is that idea, you may ask?  Very simply this:  Parental responsibility is to provide the child with nourishing, vital, ideas and train him in good habits – and to do this in cooperation with the Holy Spirit.  That last bit is so key.  We have the responsibility to plant the seeds, to keep the soil well-watered, to nurture the plants along – but we can't make them grow.  Ultimately, it is the grace of God poured out over the hearts of our children that will bring the growth.  Charlotte Mason puts it this way:

 

"The object of lessons should be in the main, twofold: to train a child in certain mental habits, as attention, accuracy, promptness, etc. and to nourish him with ideas which may bear fruit in his life…

 

Every habit has its beginning.  The beginning is the idea which comes with a stir and takes possession of us….

 

…the fact that God the Holy Spirit is Himself the Supreme Educator dealing with each of us severally in the things we call sacred and those we call secular.  We lay ourselves open to the spiritual impact of ideas, whether these be conveyed by the printed page, the human voice, or whether they reach us without visible sign."  (p.229-230)

 

In Mere Motherhood, Cindy Rollins expressed a very similar idea this way:

 

"You can't fight your children into the Kingdom. You can pray for them, and you can tell them stories, and you can love them."  (p.130)

 

In so doing, Charlotte Mason tells in at the closing of her book, we do much to advance the Kingdom of Christ.

Getting Started with AO Year One: Understanding Narration

Welcome back for another coffee chat, friends.

 

 

I hope that our last installment left you feeling encouraged that you CAN do this.  It's okay if you haven't read everything and don't know it all, and it's even okay if you don't do everything perfectly because none of us do.

 

That said…you do need to start somewhere.  Once you've gained a general overview of CM's ideas, you need to begin to deepening your understanding a little bit at a time.  In the next couple of posts in this series I'd like to suggest a couple of principles that would be good starting places for your further study.  Today let's talk about narration.

 

Very simply put, narration is the act of telling back (orally or, in the case of older students, in writing) what you have heard or read or experienced.  Sounds simple, right?  It is simple, but it is also profound.  In order to narrate, the child must attend to the reading, organize it in his own mind, and reformulate it in his own words.   I have reflected before that narration is akin to translation – translating the ideas of the author into one's own language.  It's harder work than you might think!  Some children take to it like ducks to water, and others really struggle with developing this skill.  Narration is frequently misunderstood and its power underestimated.   It is also absolutely essential to putting Charlotte Mason's philosophy of education into place in your homeschool.  This is why I'd like to suggest to you that deepening your understanding of what narration is, why it is important, and how to help your student develop narration skills is a foundational starting place for further study.

 

Rather than re-invent the wheel, I am going to leave you today with a collection of links that will send you well on your way to a deeper understanding of narration.  Take some time over the next few weeks to read and take notes and ponder.  Feel free to come back and leave your questions in the comments, or hop on over to the Ambleside Online Forum and join the conversation there.

 

Charlotte Mason's Own Words on Narration

Narration Helps from the Ambleside Online Advisory Board with LOTS of links for further study

Karen Glass on Narration

More from Karen Glass on "What's the Point of Narration"

Troubleshooting and Narration from Fisher Academy Part 1 and Part 2

Your Morning Basket Podcast on Narration with Sonya Shafer

The Mason Jar Podcast Interview with Karen Glass (not solely about narration, but she does make some good points with regard to narration to keep in mind)

Brandy Vencel on Narration vs. Discussion

Also, if you haven't already subscribed to Brandy's Newbie Tuesday newsletter, go do that now.  The first issue is all about narration, and I believe you get that immediately when you sign up.

 

Happy Reading, Friends!

 

PS – For those of you who may be looking for an online discussion group to go deeper with CM's principles, it looks like there is a group forming over on the AO Forum to go through Brandy's 20 Principles study beginning in April.  I did this study myself with a group of Forum ladies several years ago and I would say that that was the thing that really cemented my understanding of what CM is all about. I highly recommend this study to you, especially if you don't have access to a local CM study group.  Click here to get more information (you need to be registered on the Forum to access this link).

 

What We've Been Up To

Out and About:

With the new year, we've been trying to get out for nature study a little more regularly than we managed last term.  We've been enjoying the winter weather, mild as it is here, as a nice break from the eternal summer of the tropics.

 

 

 

I know this isn't a serious snowfall for you Midwesterners and Northeasterners, but it was pretty darn exciting for us.

 

Hubby and I also had the opportunity to see a local showing of Many Beautiful Things, a documentary film about the life of Lilias Trotter. (We even got a babysitter!! And went out for the evening!!)  Her biography, A Passion for the Impossible was my favorite book last year.  Highly recommended.  It will be released to DVD soon if you missed out on a local showing.

 

In the Schoolroom:

After a longer-than-expected Christmas break, we have finally settled back into a good school routine with new Ambleside Years for each of my older two children.  We are now 5 weeks in and things are going very well.  Michelle is now in Year 4.  I remember being SO intimidated by Year 4 when we first started using Ambleside Online, but everyone said not to worry, because she would grow into it.  She really has.  Our transition has been smooth, and she is handling that challenging booklist and all the other Year 4 'extras' beautifully.  James and I are doing Year 2, and I am falling in love with Betsy and Little Duke Richard all over again. (And yet another of my children is completely disgusted with William the Conqueror for winning the Battle of Hastings….) Elizabeth is doing one more term of 'kindergarten', but will start Year 1 next term, since she turns 6 in March.  She's ready and has been asking regularly since she turned 5, so I see no reason to hesitate.

 

Phonics Lessons with this little one are never dull. 

 

Nature Journaling

 

Creatively:

I have been crocheting some simple…mats? I guess you would call them...to match the colors of the liturgical year.  I already finished a purple one for Advent and Lent and a green one for Ordinary Time and have plans for a White one for Christmas and Easter and a Red one for Pentecost. (I unfortunately have lost track of the pattern I used now. Sori tru.)  I also crocheted some simple winter hats all around (I used this pattern for mine, and a pattern from Kids Crochet for the kids'). Now, I guess I should get back to that scarf that I have been picking at since last summer…maybe next winter I'll be able to wear it?

 

Our current dining-room-table décor with a purple crocheted mat for the season of Lent

 

I also want to try my hand at making a couple of sewn booklets, like this lovely one that Silvia gave me last year.  I think I may do a simple one as a copybook for Elizabeth, who is ready to transition from a handwriting/letter formation workbook to simple copywork.  I'm telling you this because I've been thinking about it for two months. :P  Hold me accountable to show you the results next time, folks.

 

Silvia's lovely notebook on the right - it's my current Commonplace book.

 

In the Kitchen:This is our latest development: Michelle (age 10) volunteered a few weeks ago to make dinner on Saturday nights.  All on her own!  And she's stuck with it, even though it hasn't always been easy.  She has been selecting recipes from How to Cook Everything Fast and Simplified Dinners for New Cooks.   She had some basic kitchen skills from helping out here and there already, but these books have been a good next step for her.  My husband was also recently inspired to make 'date nights at home' happen regularly…which means that he too scours How to Cook Everything Fast and makes dinner himself.  This means that I get at least one night off cooking every week…and sometimes two.  Works for me.

 

I'm loving this 'kid big enough to fix dinner' thing.

 

Around the House:

Not much other than basic maintenance these days.  And making lists.  Lots of lists.   But I can't tell you why *just* yet.  Stay tuned. J

 

I'm pretty obsessed with the silhouettes of the trees against winter skies.

 

What have you been up to lately?

What We've Been Up To...

Out and About:

Two weekends ago we took a quick trip to Pittsburgh  for the wedding of a dear friend of our family.   The wedding was in the afternoon, so we had Saturday morning free to explore a bit.  The cold, damp weather put a damper on our plan A which involved going to a park…so we ended up at the Frick Art and Historical Center.  Michelle loved the art display – especially the 15^th century tapestries in the main gallery.  She was also delighted to find a painting by Peter Paul Rubens, the artist we have been studying in our co-op class.  (Interestingly, one of the musical pieces featured in the wedding was Bach's Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring, which we had also just studied in our co-op class!)   They also loved touring the restored Victorian mansion on the property and the Greenhouse that featured many exotic plants….including many familiar to us from our yard in Africa. J

 

Greenhouse Scavenger Hunt at the Frick Center in Pittsburgh

 

In the Schoolroom:

We are about 6 weeks in to our new school year.  We wrapped up our rather disrupted Term 2, and are starting in to Term 3 now.   We are enjoying participating in a weekly co-op each week.  Michelle is especially loving her drama class, featuring Shakespeare's Hamlet (they will also study A Midsummer Night's Dream and then perform some scenes at the end of the year).  I love that she is loving her introduction to "real" Shakespeare.  I am teaching history, literature, writing, and art/music appreciation to third and fourth graders and LOVING it.  While our co-op is technically a classical group, not a specifically Charlotte Mason one, the content lends itself very much to being taught with Charlotte Mason's methods and I am really enjoying applying what I've learned as a homeschooler to a classroom environment and loving what the group dynamic brings to our narrations and discussions.  That's probably a post all its own, though…

 

Phonics Lesson with Elizabeth

 

Creatively:

Creative projects?  What?  I feel like we got on a roller coaster when school started again and we haven't gotten off yet.

 

I guess I ought to make more effort to pick up my crochet or embroidery when we sit down to watch TV or a movie in the evening, or on our next road trip, rather than letting them languish in their basket.

 

The children at least are doing drama and drawing at their co-op each week.  And we've been nature journaling a little less frequently than I'd like, but still we're hitting it every other week on average.  We've done no handicrafts… but it dawned on me that right now the weather is beautiful, and the light still long in the evening.  The children have all made friends in our apartment buildings, and in the last week or so have been playing a Roxaboxen-like imaginary town game on the playground.  Who wants to interrupt that?  The cold, icky weather and early dark are coming soon enough, and when they do staying in and working on handicraft projects will probably be a lot more appealing.

 

To everything a season, right?

 

We get real cozy in our homeschool....

 

In the Kitchen:

So, the church we've settled into here in North Carolina is really big on potluck suppers.  We had them weekly on Sunday nights during the summer, and now have them every other week on Tuesday (the small group meetings always feature a potluck).   This is a great and good thing – sharing a meal with people is a beautiful and natural way to build community – but I'm finding that I need to increase my repertoire of potluck dishes.  Anyone have a favorite?

 

Sneaking in a little nature journaling time for Mama while the kids were swimming.

 

Around the House:

My house is chaos.

 

Okay, not really that bad.  I still feel like I'm reeling from the start of the school year, though.  We really aren't involved in that many activities, but maybe because of the driving distance to many things I feel like I am always doing something or going somewhere.  I've also had lots of opportunities to get together with friends new and old, which is wonderful…but whew.   I'm still learning how to balance those things that I'd *like* to do with what I *need* to do.   Not doing very well with it at the moment, but trying.

 

 

What have you been up to?

Reflections on Relationship: The Daily Routine

This is the final installment in my planning series Reflections on Relationship.  You can read the other parts of the series here:

Introduction

Enriching Relationship with God

Enriching Relationships with People Around Us

Enriching Relationships with Mankind

Enriching Relationships with God's Creation

 

Now that we have considered that the goal of our education is to enrich relationships,  and considered practically how we can do that in several key areas, now it's finally time translate all those ideas into a typical daily routine.   My basic planning process remains the same as it was a couple of years ago, although the daily schedule looks a little different now that I have 3 students.  Nicole at Sabbath Mood Homeschool and Brandy at Afterthoughts have some good thoughts on translating Charlotte Mason's ideas into a daily schedule as well.

 

Wednesday is our co-op day, and as we have a bit of a drive to get there that is the only thing we have planned for that day.  But on our four school-days of the week at home, this is what our daily routine generally looks like.  I am pleased with how this routine is going for us thus far...it is a good marriage of structure and freedom; it is full without feeling completely overwhelming.

 

Breakfast and Morning Chores
I aim to get up around 6:30 (although sometimes in reality that means closer to 7) and aim to start our school morning around 8:30 - this gives me a good 2 hours to ease into the day.  I get up, drink my coffee, check in briefly online, and have a bit of time for devotional reading, journaling, and prayer.  Somewhere in there the kids start getting up - some get up earlier, others later.  We eat breakfast, although not necessarily all at the same time.  My husband helps with this, and my older kids can get themselves cereal and toast now, so breakfast tends to be a bit more of a casual-eat-when-you're-ready affair in our home now because of those staggered wake-up times.  After that, we all move towards morning chores: clean up breakfast and attend to any other kitchen jobs, throw in a load of laundry, oversee the kids' morning jobs (again....they are old enough now to handle basic morning chores and hygiene more or less on their own), shower....you get the idea.  I used to have a much more highly structured morning routine, but this sort of basic "things that need to be done" and a reasonable amount of time in which to do them has been really helpful for me in this season.  (So has slightly more independent children who don't need so much of me first thing in the morning!!)

 

Morning Time – All Children

We aim to start Morning Time around 8:30 or so, and it typically lasts 30-45 minutes depending on length of the readings for the day and how much discussion we get into.   Another post coming soon with our Morning Time selections for this year.

 

After Morning Time: The older two children – Michelle especially – are able to do some of their work independently, so they will start their independent work checklists and I will work with each child one-on-one from youngest to oldest.  Michelle may come to me to narrate independent readings as she is finished with them.  The younger children are dismissed to go play after their time with me is finished. 

 

Elizabeth – Age 5 – Kindergarten
Elizabeth's kindergarten time takes 30-45 minutes. 

 

James – Age 7 – First Grade 
James does a few independent items (math drill, drawing, reading) while waiting for me, and then we work together for 45 minutes to an hour.

 

Michelle – Age 9.5 – Fourth Grade

Michelle can do quite a bit independently, so works through her checklist while I work with the younger two.  Sometimes she finishes everything before I'm ready for her, in which case she is free to do what she likes until I am, as long as she doesn't wander too far and I can easily call her to come.  We spend somewhere between and hour and an hour-and-a-half  going over her independent work and doing certain readings and lessons together.

(Detailed posts on curriculum choices, etc, coming soon.)
 

 Ideally, all of our school-book-work is finished by lunch.  We've been able to follow this schedule consistently and while it's a full morning, it doesn't feel harried and rushed, and we've been able to jump back on track fairly easily if there is a disruption somewhere along the way.

 

Lunch - Listen to Composer Music and Folksongs, Habit Training on Table Manners

Clean Up Chores

Rest Time
Sadly naptime has completely disappeared in our home. :(  We have replaced it with a 30-40 minute quiet time in which we all separate to read or do other quiet projects and no one can talk.  I use it to do a bit of reading and try to avoid working on household tasks or the computer until time is up. 

 

Afternoon Activities May Include Any Combination of the Following Depending on the Day, the Weather, and My Mood...:

• Free Play Indoors and Out
• Handicrafts or Drawing
• Nature Outing and Journaling
• Homeschool PE Class
• Mama Gets Her Other Work Done - household or computer tasks, planning the co-op class I teach, errand running, etc.

 

Clean Up - Dinner Prep - Baths/Showers as needed

Dinner – Habit Training on Table Manners
 

Evening Family Time: Most evenings this includes a family activity of some sort - often a walk or watching the guys who fly remote control airplanes across the street since we still have quite a bit of daylight.  If we need to stay indoors, then we might play a game or perhaps watch a TV episode or movie.   We close with our family reading time - both Bible reading and a literature read-aloud.
 

Bed - Kids Go Down by 8:30 at the latest, although the oldest is allowed to sit up in bed reading until 9 or so.  This gives my husband and I some time to hang out together or get a few more things done before we head to bed, ideally by 10:30.

Do you have a daily routine that is working for you in this season?

 

Reflections on Relationship: Enriching Relationships with the People Around Us

This is part three in my planning series, Reflections on Relationship.  You can read the other parts here:

Introduction

Enriching Relationship with God

 

Today, let's consider how we can enrich relationships with those around us – our family and our community.   Charlotte Mason's educational motto was "Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life."   While the other three aspects of relationship we are considering – God, Mankind, and God's Created Universe – all fall under the heading of 'education is a life', today's topic falls under 'education is an atmosphere' and 'education is a discipline'. 

 

Education is an Atmosphere

"When we say that education is an atmosphere we do not mean that a child should be isolated in what may be called a 'child environment' specially adapted and prepared, but that we should take into account the educational value of his natural home atmosphere both as regards persons and things and should let him live freely among his proper conditions."  (Charlotte Mason, Volume 6, p. 94)

 

In When Children Love to Learn, Jack Beckman speaks thus of the learning atmosphere we should strive to cultivate:

 

"The atmosphere is supportive, nurturing, and caring, reflecting a sense of safety balanced with challenge.  Good habits of mind and body are deliberately encouraged both in teacher and student.  A sense of community is present – praying and feeding on the Word of God, solving problems, and gathering around vital learning together." (p.55)  

 

I love the picture that he paints of a learning community 'gathering around learning together.'   He also speaks of:

 

"our role as parents and teachers is to reflect the model of our Lord Jesus in relationship with these little ones – to come alongside and encourage them in their ignorance and sin toward a better way…When a child chooses to act in accordance with his fallenness, this time is best used to instruct the child in relationship." (p.59)

 

I see here the idea of cultivating a mentoring/discipling relationship with my children, of fostering a learning community within our family rather than a checklist-driven us-and-them mentality.  How to go about doing this is a little bit tricky because much of it relies on consistently checking my own attitude and setting aside my own convenience.   It means watching how I react to them in our learning times or in times of correction and being willing to take advantage of teachable moments.  It means repenting when I fail and asking my children to forgive me.   I hope (I pray!) that this kind of attitude shift will be a byproduct of attending to my own personal spiritual vitality.

 

On a more practical level, I have thought about some ways that we can restructure our learning time to better foster relationship and community.  For us right now that has meant putting Bible back into our Morning Time, as I mentioned before.  It has meant dropping French completely, at least for now, because of the tension it always caused among all of us.  It has also meant separating everyone for memory work/recitation so that each person can learn their poetry and Bible passages at their own rate rather than fostering a sense of competition or frustration due to children who memorize at different speeds. 

 

In addition to working to foster a greater sense of community in our home, we will also participate in the community around us through hospitality, attending a weekly co-op, and being a part of our church family.

 

Education is a Discipline

"By this formula we mean the discipline of habits formed definitely and thoughtfully whether habits of mind or of body." (Charlotte Mason, Volume 6, p. 99)

 

Ah yes, habit training.  This is one aspect of Charlotte Mason's philosophy that's always made me a little bit squirmy.  And so I have tended to be less than intentional about it.   That said, I was struck by some of Maryellen St Cyr's comments about habit training in When Children Love to Learn:

 

"The necessity of forming habits is an integral part of this philosophy as they aid one in functioning in relationships.  These habits are not tacked onto one's life as another feat to be mastered in a performance culture, but are used as valuable tools in the intellectual, spiritual, and physical development in relationship to oneself, God, and others…Therefore, it is the business of education and the function of the educator to train each child we have been entrusted with in the formation of habits that will allow the child to truly live." (p. 89,99)

 

The idea that habits 'aid one in functioning in relationships' set off all kinds of lightbulbs in my mind.  One area that we have really been lacking in is helping our children to develop habits of courtesy – things like table manners, greeting people, responding to people who greet you, how to treat visitors in our home.  While I could offer a lot of valid-sounding excuses for this, I won't.  The fact is, whatever has happened in the past, we still need to work on these things  now.  Failing to attend to them has at times disrupted the harmony of our home and relationships with others.  So as much as intentional habit training has always made me kind of squirmy, we are going to work on these things this year starting with table manners – things like sitting properly in your chair, not starting to eat until after prayer, not making rude comments about the food, eating quietly with mouths closed, not leaving the table until you have been excused…you get the idea.   I'm still working out exactly what this will look like in practice, but it is a goal for this year.  Once we have made some progress on that front, we will probably move on to dealing courteously with others (greetings and responding to greeting appropriately, etc) and habits of hospitality (treating others courteously when they visit our home).

 

How do you intend to enrich relationships with those around you this year?

What We've Been Up To...

Out and About:

We spent our first week back Stateside at my parent's house in Florida, and the kids had their very first 'real' beach outing.  We've been to rocky beaches before, but not a swimming beach.  I thought the waves might freak them out, but they had a fabulously fun time splashing around and trying to run away from the waves fast enough.  Sand castles and shell collecting featured heavily in our outing too.

 

 

 

Now that we are settled up in North Carolina where we will stay for much of the year, we have already found a lovely wooded nature trail around a pond just across the road from our apartment. Stay tuned for photos of that soon.  I have a feeling it will be a favorite we will revisit.

 

 

In the Schoolroom:

For the last several weeks, school has consisted solely of science in the form of "How it's Made" episodes on TV, various nature study opportunities in the form of walks around the neighborhood, and literature in the form of bedtime read-alouds. That all counts, right? ;P This week, we are back to a light, basics-only school schedule (math, Ambleside reading, copywork for all, and a bit of dictation and written narration for my almost-10-year-old) plus a bit of nature study.  We'll do that for two weeks, which ought to get us to a good 'pausing' point, and then we will adjourn for the rest of the summer.

 

 

Creatively:

I got a new stash of yarn when we arrived in the States, and have been crocheting dishcloths and coasters to use in our apartment.  Michelle is crocheting with me (yay for a new stash of yarn!).

 

 

I also finally broke down and a bought a copy of The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady.  What a beautiful peek inside a vintage nature journal!  Worth getting your hands on it if you can – I found mine used online quite inexpensively.  It is lovely and inspiring, and now I am working to revamp the way my nature journal is set up.  I love the way her notes and drawings carry her through the year.  I am so looking forward to seasonal variation while in the Northern hemisphere this year and want to record that in a natural, intuitive way.  Stay tuned. J

 

 

In the Kitchen:

Berries.  Melon.  Berries.  Broccoli.  Berries.  Mushrooms-not-from-a-can.  Berries.  Milk-that-isn't-shelf-stable.  Berries.  Grapes.  Berries.  Sandwich Meat.  Berries. Cherries.  Berries.  Peaches.  Berries.

 

I think that sums it up pretty well.

 

 

Around the House:

I think we are about as settled as we can be in our furnished apartment for the coming year.  That 'getting settled' process involved putting the TV in a closet, moving the computer desk into our bedroom (I have never cared for having our 'office' space in the middle of the living room), and obtaining a couple of extra bookcases so I could put our books away.  Not sure what that says about me as a person…but there you have it. :)

 

 

What have you been up to lately?

What Happens When the Boxes Don't All Get Checked

We didn't check off all the boxes on our school list last week.  

 

Now, there's a fairly good reason for that – we've all been fighting a pretty nasty sinus bug.  No one's really been 'lay in bed all day' sick, but no one's felt in top form either.  My love-to-check-the-boxes-self tried to push through anyhow - tried being the operative word.  It was a fail.  Those boxes still didn't get checked.  And there was stress and yelling and tension in our home.  Double fail.

 

That said, I can tell you a couple of things we did do.

 

We sat outside in the backyard on a blanket as still and quiet as we could to see if we might see any birds.  After a few minutes, we saw three crows (at least we think they were crows, it was too far away to know for sure) flying in the sky overhead, soaring and swooping gracefully.  Later we saw a sunbird gathering nectar from the flowers in the rose-apple tree.  Sunbirds are magnificent.  So are the flowers on the rose-apple tree.

 

We talked a little about what  it is exactly that makes a bird a bird anyhow.  It was the children who posed the question.  They haven't yet come up with any definitive answers.  They have wings – yes, but so do bats.  They fly – yes, but what about flamingos? Ostriches? Penguins?  The discussion is underway. 

 

Michelle read a section in a book about Leonardo da Vinci.  At the end of her narration she asked: "Did Leonardo da Vinci live before or after Christopher Columbus?"   "Why do you want to know?"  "Oh, I'm just curious about whether or not people knew the world was round or not yet when Leonardo was alive."   We looked it up after lunch: they were born only a year apart from each other.  Who knows if they ever met or not, but they were certainly men of the same age.  We added them both to the same century page in her timeline book.

 

Charlotte Mason tells us that education is the 'science of relations'….that learning takes place when connections are made….that it's not so much about how much we know, but how much we care.

 

We didn't check off all our boxes last week.   But we stopped and looked and wondered.  We related this week's reading to previous reading.  Connections were made.

 

Perhaps last week wasn't so much of a fail after all.

A Few More Thoughts on Imitation

A few more thoughts that crossed my mind as I continue to contemplate this idea of imitation.

 

Recently, I read 3 John and noticed particularly verse 11:

 

"Beloved do not imitate what is evil, but what is good.  The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God."

 

That word 'imitate' jumped out at me, given all the Circe lectures on this topic that I've been listening to and thinking about lately (these and these).  We learn by imitation – we are to imitate what is good and not what is evil.  Therefore, we need to hold what is good (and true, and beautiful) before our children and students – in ourselves, in our learning materials, in our media choices and so forth.   But then we need to stop and trust the Holy Spirit to work.  Charlotte Mason makes the remark that the virtue that is borne of the instructed conscience "…has come to him through his books and his prayers – not through books alone, and not through prayers alone." (Ourselves, Book 2, p.69).  Ultimately all this 'cultivating wisdom and virtue' isn't up to me.  Ultimately, it's up to Him.  Wisdom and virtue are the products of a changed heart, and only He can change hearts.  I plant the seeds, He brings forth the harvest.   I set the Good, the True, the Beautiful before them and then step aside to let Him work.  I can't actually 'cultivate wisdom and virtue' – but He can and He invites me to cooperate with Him.  

 

Humbling thought, that.

 

What are they Imitating?

Not too long ago, I found this laying around the house:

 

 

On the left, is my to-do list.  On the right, is 4 year old Elizabeth's to-do list.  Cute, isn't it?  I thought so anyhow.

 

 

Later that same week, I found these.  On the left is a drawing that 9 year old Michelle did, on the left is 4 year old Elizabeth's copy.  She's pretty good for 4, isn't she?  Maybe I'm biased, I am her mother after all. J

 

Now, I don't share these just because they are cute, even though they are.  Finding both of these things within a few days of each other was a reminder to me that these little ones in my care are imitators. They are watching, and they will imitate what they see around them.  I've been chewing on the implications of that ever since. 

 

Some of those implications are educational.  The theme of the Circe Conference this past summer was "A Contemplation of Imitation".  I've been slowly listening my way through the audio recordings of that conference over the past few months, so this theme has been running through my mind anyhow.  I  also really liked Jennifer's article on narration over at Expanding Wisdom – one of the points she makes is that narration is a form of imitation.   What are we holding before our children for them to 'imitate'?  Are we using books and materials that show them the good, the true, and the beautiful?  It's worth thinking about.

 

I think perhaps the most profound reflection I've had on this topic over the last few weeks, however, is that these little ones are imitating ME.  This isn't a new insight – I've even written about it before.  But it was a much needed reminder – a very convicting one.  They are imitating me.  What am I showing them?

 

I've seen this played out in different ways in the past few weeks.  The last couple of months have been busy and at times stressful for our family.   There have been times that I have let that stress get the better of me and I've snapped at a child and barked orders as we've hurried out the door or tried to get everyone tucked into bed (finally!) for the night.   And you know what?  More often than not, that results in cranky, ornery, reluctant children.  On the other hand, when I've chosen to stay calm, be patient, go with the flow and let go of my (sometimes unrealistic) expectations things have generally gone more smoothly, even under pressure.  They feed off my attitude - they imitate my attitudes.

 

Charlotte Mason once said: "…the child's most fixed and dominant habits are those…which the child picks up for himself through the close observation of that is said and done, felt and thought, in his home."   The Apostle Paul said: "Therefore, I exhort you, be imitators of me." (I Corinthians 4:16) 

 

Lord Jesus, infuse the atmosphere of our home with peace and joy and life.  Mold me and shape me into someone who, like the Apostle Paul, is worthy of imitation.  

My Grandfather: A Reflection

 

In September, Michelle and I made a whirlwind trip (11 days total, 3 of which were spent in airports or on airplanes) all the way from Africa to the USA to attend my Grandfather's memorial service.  He passed away on August 31 this year at the age of 93.   It was a long way to go for such a short period of time, but it was totally and completely worth it.  In the 13+ years that I have lived overseas, I have missed numerous events in the lives of my family and close friends – weddings, reunions, births, funerals.   Because of that, it was so very precious to me to be able to be there this time – to spend a few days with my extended family all in one place and to celebrate the life of the man who was my hero.

 

 

Why was he my hero?  It all started when I was three years old and he and Grandma came to stay with me while my parents were at the hospital having my little sister.  They brought with them a set of "Magic Mary Ann" paper dolls.  (The 'magic'?  They were magnetic so the clothes would actually stay on!)  He sat down with me at my little tiny table-and-chairs and cut out all the clothes, taped the little metal bits on the back that would stick to the magnet, and even traced a blank dress for me to color myself.   I still remember it vividly now, over thirty years later. 

 

 

After he retired, he and Grandma bought a piece of property in the woods up in the Northern California mountains and built a house there.  The vast majority of my favorite childhood memories took place at that house.   Walks in the woods, game nights, watching Hercule Poirot on TV, camping in their trailer, playing in the snow at Christmas time (oh the travesty the year I was 10 and we didn't get any snow for Christmas!), driving down the mountain to go shopping and out for lunch at King's Table or the Westside Deli or to that place where you could get the twisty chocolate and vanilla soft-serve ice cream cones….little things really.  But precious to me all the same, the stuff that memories are made of.

 

 

When I left home and went away to college, we kept up a lively pen-and-paper correspondence.   This lasted for years – well beyond the advent of email -  many of the years that I lived in Papua New Guinea included.  It really only ended in the past 5 years or so as his mind really started to slip.    When I got married, he made a special trip and flew all the way from Washington to Florida at the age of 83 so that he could be there at my wedding.   And he was so very tickled that he got to meet all three of my little ones the last time we were back in the States.

 

 

My Grandpa led a pretty ordinary life.  He was a simple man who loved his Lord, loved his family, loved to work with his hands.  All these little things that I remember about him are really very simple little memories, things that in and of themselves were not that noteworthy or spectacular.  And yet, I considered him my hero.  I am realizing now it was because he took the time.  He sat with me when I was a little girl.   He and Grandma spent hours and days and weeks and months as I grew up spending time at their home in the mountains doing simple, ordinary things with me.   He took the time to write me letters regularly for years when I was a young woman.    He built a relationship with me.

 

 

Building a relationship with me didn't require any special talents, or a lot of money, or a lot of fuss and trouble.   It just took time…little moments here and there spread out over the years that added up over a lifetime.   If there is one thing that I want to remember about him - to learn from how he lived his life - it is this.

 

 

Take the time for the little things.  They matter more than you may ever know.