From My Commonplace: Between Worlds

A few weeks ago, Marilyn Gardner's book Between Worlds: Essays and Culture and Belonging was on Kindle special and was circulating widely around the online circles I frequent.  I'm glad I downloaded it because it resonated with me deeply on so many levels.   I am not a 'third-culture kid' (child raised outside their parent's home culture) as the author was, but my childhood was marked by frequent changes and transitions.   I moved overseas as a *very* young adult, fresh out of college.  I have actually never lived in the States as an adult more than temporarily. I have lived in 28 different houses/apartments/dorms in my 35 years.  I have lived in three different foreign countries (Papua New Guinea, France, and Cameroon) and spent significant amounts of time in a fourth (Australia).  My children have lived in all of those countries too. (My youngest hit her fourth continent before age 3.)  I have known many wonderful people and had many rich experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything.  I have also said far too many goodbyes.  I long to put down roots somewhere, and mourn that every time I've started to I've had to be transplanted.  Again.  Yes, this book resonated with me. 

 

A few of the thoughts I am still contemplating:

 

"Where was God in all this?  We had to learn that God was permanent despite our impermanence."

 

"An arrival is the end of one journey, the beginning of another."

 

"I've come to realize that longing is okay as long as it does not paralyze, as long as I slowly continue to embrace the life that has been given at this time, at this moment."

 

"Above all we wait for God.  We move forward in faith only to be stopped in transit.  So we wait.  It's not time.  We sit tight.  There are dozens of ways that God moves in and orchestrates our plans, our movements. We may never know the reason for waiting.  It may elude us until the day we die and we're on the other side of eternity."

 

"For even as I experience loss and the inconsistency of place I learn paradoxically of the constancy of God."

 

"Calling had an upper, not a lower-case, 'C'.  Mom and dad's Calling was to God Himself, and that would never change.  That call was irrevocable.  The call to Pakistan was lower-case.  If they had to leave, God was still God.  Their ability to stay in Pakistan might change, but the Call of God would never change.  And God's Call included their children."

 

~Marilyn Gardner, Between Worlds

 

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My Bookbag This Week:

Devotional: Revelation, with a commentary The Final Word (Wilmshurst)

Theological or Christian Living: Age of Opportunity (Tripp)

Book Discussion Group Titles: Idylls of the King (Tennyson), Watership Down (Adams)

On Education: How to Read a Book (Adler), The Abolition of Man (Lewis)

Topics of Special Interest: The New World (Churchill)

Novel/Biography/Memoir: Nicholas Nickelby (Dickens)

Read-Alouds with the Children: On the Banks of Plum Creek (Wilder), The Silver Chair (Lewis), Eric Liddell: Something Greater Than Gold (Benge), The Milly Molly Mandy Story Book (Brisley)

On the Back Burner: Inferno (Dante)

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Burnout, Self-Denial, and Refreshment

So, word on the street is that February is homeschool burnout month.  I must've missed the memo on that one because we hit burnout here only a week back in after Christmas break.  I spent most of January fighting back against it.    I had a certain number of weeks I wanted to get through by the end of March when life will go topsy-turvy for our family for most of the spring and summer, and nothing – not stress, not sickness, not bad attitudes – was going to stop me.  The last week of January was absolutely miserable for us.  There was shouting and tears and school, which on a good day is easily finished by lunch, was stretching out until 4 or even 5 o'clock.  A major ongoing discipline issue with one of the children that needed some serious attention came to a head.  Something was going to have to give…but what?

 

What I came to realize was that *I* was the one that was going to have to give.  I've very jealously guarded our free afternoons ever since we started homeschooling, ostensibly for the children's sake – so *THEY* could be free to play with their school friends and pursue their interests.  This is a good thing and a worthy goal to shoot for.  But what I realized was that I was really jealously guarding that time for *ME*.  I wanted that free time for myself to work on my own personal projects and have the kids out of my hair for a bit while they played with their friends outside.

 

Ouch.

 

So, I thought through a few things tweaks to help our days run more smoothly:

I let go of my ideal of getting all of those boxes checked as quickly as I'd like.  We took a break for a few days, just to breathe.  Those boxes - they'll get checked when they get checked.  And it'll be OK.

 

I am limiting my time online.  Mama sitting in front of the computer is like an invitation to go do what you want rather than what you are supposed to be doing.   I've found that I need to restrict my online activity to the kids' free time in the afternoon and in the evening after they are in bed, and on the weekends when everything is a little more relaxed.

 

I deleted a couple of nonessential or overlapping items from Michelle's schedule – like dropping the formal grammar book in favor of discussing grammar and punctuation naturally in the context of our dictation passage each week, and dropping her individual French work for now until I can find different materials that will suit our needs better. (We still do French as a group each morning, so it's not being completely neglected.)  

I  drew up more of a time-based schedule (as described in Nicole's scheduling series here).  I'm not following it rigidly but using it as a monitor to keep myself on track and be aware of how we are using our time (who knew I was letting math lessons drag on far longer than I should have?).   I resisted this for a long time, but it has been quite helpful.

 

Lastly, I bit the bullet and added in another 45 minutes to an hour after rest time in the afternoon for handicrafts and 'keeping'.  We've been using this time for things like working on sewing felt bookmarks (our current handicraft project – more soon!), working in our nature journals, drawing, updating our maps (more on that soon, too) and adding pertinent bits from the week's reading to our timeline books.   Knowing that we have this time coming has helped our mornings to run more smoothly – we can keep moving along since we know we will have dedicated time for drawing and journaling and crafting later in the day.

 

Yes, I had to give up a little bit of my ideal of what our homeschool should look like.

 

Yes, I had to give up some of my online time.  I can't be as active here or over on the Forum as I'd like to be. 

 

Yes, I had to give up some of my personal time in the afternoon with the addition of the handicrafts-and-keeping hour.

 

But do you know what?  February has run a whole lot smoother than January did in our homeschool.  Not perfect, but better. 

 

That child who I am working with on a major discipline issue….well, it's too soon to say that it's been completely resolved, but I think we're headed in the right direction.  Not because I've done anything terribly drastic about it, but just because I have been more present and invested in that relationship.  The child feels validated, respected, and loved.  It's helping.

 

And, as ironic as it sounds, I have been refreshed.   Taking the time to do drawing and handicrafts and journaling WITH THEM means that I have had the time to do drawing and handicrafts and journaling too.  Because we are doing it all together, we're not at odds with each other.   I'm finding myself genuinely enjoying my children rather than being constantly irritated by them.   

 

I had to give up some of what I wanted - some of the 'personal time' that I thought I needed - but I have gained so much more.

 
Funny how that works sometimes, isn't it?

 

From My Commonplace: Kindness that Leads to Repentance

 

Today's quote is another section from Tennyson's Idylls of the King.  This bit comes from the end of the fourth idyll, Geraint and Enid.  Towards the end of the story, they meet again with Edryn, a rascal who had given them some difficulty earlier in the tale, but has now been 'reformed'.  This is what he has to say:

 

"And all the penance the Queen laid upon me
Was but to rest awhile within her court;
Where first as sullen as a beast new-cage,
And waiting to be treated like a wolf,
Because my deeds were known, I found,
Instead of scornful pity or pure scorn,
Such fine reserve and noble reticence,
Manners so kind, yet stately, such a grace
Of tenderest courtesy, that I began
To glance behind me at my former life,
And find that it had been the wolf's indeed.
And oft I talked with Dubric, the high saint,
Who with mild heat of holy oratory,
Subdued me somewhat to that gentleness
Which when it weds with manhood,
Makes a man." ~Alfred, Lord Tennyson, Idylls of the King, "Geraint and Enid" Lines 852-868

I love that bit at the end about "gentleness wed with manhood" which truly makes a man.  I also loved that the Queen treated him gently, when he expected and deserved harshness, and that is part of what pricked his conscience and led him to repentance.  I often find this true when dealing with my own children in discipline situations.  When I am cranky and harsh, they may change their behavior, but does it prick their hearts?  I suspect not – I suspect they are reacting more from fear of punishment.  But when I react gently,  treat them kindly and with respect…then we are on the same team.  With the help of the Holy Spirit, perhaps true heart level change can take place.

 

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In My Bookbag This Week:

Devotional: Revelation, with a commentary The Final Word (Wilmshurst)

Theological or Christian Living: Age of Opportunity (Tripp)

Book Discussion Group Titles: Idylls of the King (Tennyson), Watership Down (Adams), The Everlasting Man  (Chesterton)

On Education: How to Read a Book (Adler)

Topics of Special Interest: The New World (Churchill)

Novel/Biography/Memoir: Between Worlds: Essays on Culture and Belonging (Gardner)

Read-Alouds with the Children: On the Banks of Plum Creek (Wilder), The Silver Chair (Lewis), Eric Liddell: Something Greater Than Gold (Benge), The Milly Molly Mandy Story Book (Brisley)

On the Back Burner: Inferno (Dante), The Abolition of Man (Lewis)

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From My Commonplace: Wisdom from Children's Literature

So…Michelle (Age 9) has taken to recommending books to me.  I have three or four sitting on my nightstand right now that she said I "really must read, Mama, because they were SO interesting."  Some of these I read as a child too, but have forgotten much of, others have been new to me.  Elizabeth Enright's Gone-Away Lake was one of those, although I really can't imagine how on earth I missed it since her series about the Melendy family (The Saturdays, The Four Story Mistake, Then There Were Five, and Spiderweb for Two) were some of my absolute hands-down favorites.  Gone-Away Lake is a delightful story of some children who happen upon some abandoned former summer houses around a swamp that used to be a lake and the eccentric but kindly old brother and sister who still live there.  Highly recommended.   This little nugget made it into my commonplace book (who said children's books were only for children?):

 

" 'If you could just hold onto it,' said Portia, sitting back on the warm grass.  Her knees were stiff from kneeling.

 

'Onto what? The weather?' Aunt Hilda sat back on the grass, too, and pushed her tumbled hair away from her brow with the back of her muddy hand.  She was a very pretty woman.

 

'The weather, partly, but mostly the time.  June like this, and everything starting to be.  Summer starting to be.  Everything is just exactly right.'

 

'But if it were this way every day, all the time, we'd get too used to it.  We'd toughen to it,' said Aunt Hilda. 'People do.  It's just because it doesn't and can't last that a day like this is so wonderful.'

 

'Good things must have comparers I suppose,' said Portia.  'Or how would we know how good they are?'

 

'Exactly!' Aunt Hilda went back to her weeding; and after a minute Portia did, too."

 

~Elizabeth Enright, Gone-Away Lake

 

 

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In My Bookbag This Week:

Devotional: Revelation, with a commentary The Final Word (Wilmshurst)

Theological or Christian Living: Ourselves (Mason)

Book Discussion Group Titles: Idylls of the King (Tennyson), Watership Down (Adams), The Everlasting Man  (Chesterton)

On Education: How to Read a Book (Adler)

Topics of Special Interest: The New World (Churchill)

Novel/Biography/Memoir: City of Tranquil Light (Caldwell)

Read-Alouds with the Children: On the Banks of Plum Creek (Wilder), The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Lewis), Eric Liddell: Something Greater Than Gold (Benge), The Milly Molly Mandy Story Book (Brisley)

On the Back Burner: Inferno (Dante), The Abolition of Man (Lewis)

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From My Commonplace: On Forgiveness

I am slowly working my way through Charlotte Mason's book Ourselves.  This volume is quite different from her others as it isn't on educational philosophy, but is more of a character-building book written directly to students (Ambleside Online has it scheduled to be read slowly across several years beginning in Year 7).   It is deep and rich and thought-provoking for this Mama too.  

 

"We have a Father who cares and knows.  We have a Saviour who saves people form their sins.  We are not left to ourselves, we have a King who governs us, whose power upholds us, and whom we glorify by every little effort of ours not to enter into temptation."

 

"…forgiveness means instant, immediate, complete restoration to the joy of God's favour; that the forgiveness of Christian hearts is equally prompt, or it is not forgiveness; and that there are no tears to be shed, no dark remembrances to be cherished, after the one sore and sorrowful confession, made with many tears, 'Father, I have sinned.'  Then, we hold up our heads as free men, and no longer drag the prisoner's chain."

 

~Charlotte Mason, Ourselves

 

Do I hear an Amen?

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In My Bookbag This Week:

Devotional/Theological: Revelation, with a commentary The Final Word (Wilmshurst)

Practical Christian Living: Ourselves (Mason)

Book Discussion Group Titles: Inferno (Dante), Idylls of the King (Tennyson), The Everlasting Man  (Chesterton)

On Education: The Abolition of Man (Lewis), How to Read a Book (Adler)

Topics of Special Interest: The New World (Churchill)

Novel/Biography/Memoir: Heatherley (Thompson)

Read-Alouds with the Children: On the Banks of Plum Creek (Wilder), The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Lewis), Eric Liddell: Something Greater Than Gold (Benge), The Milly Molly Mandy Story Book (Brisley)

 *In the interest of full disclosure, Inferno and The Abolition of Man are currently on the back burner, at least until I finish The Everlasting Man.  I got a little too excited and bit off more 'heavy' books than I could chew at one time.   I do intend to finish them eventually, though, so in the pile they stay. :)

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Handicrafts for the Not-so-Crafty: The New Year's Cookie Basket Project

We didn't travel anywhere over our Christmas-New Year holiday break this year.  Since we were just planning to be at home, I knew I needed to have some kind of little project to engage the children in.  (Just at home + No routine + More than a day or two = Recipe for Disaster.   Please tell me this is true at your house too?)  We also hadn't done any cookie baking in December, just too many other things going on.   The solution: the New Year's Cookie Basket project.

 

The first stage of the project was that each child got a 'baking day' with me.   On their designated day, we made a big double-batch of a Christmas cookie of their choice.  (I also made pan of mint fudge to round out the choices.)  The first 3 dozen of each we set aside, the rest were for general family consumption.  I rarely bake (I have an aversion to unnecessary messes in the kitchen and turning the oven on when it's hot, which it nearly always is in Africa), so this was a special treat for everyone.  Learning their way around the kitchen is an important life skill too, and this was a fun way to get some more kitchen experience in.

 

 

The second stage of the project involved making little baskets from fancy scrapbook paper.  I modified the instructions from one of the projects in Paper Sloyd: A Handbook for Primary Grades. (My modifications just made the dimensions of the boxes a little larger than the one in the book.) Paper Sloyd involves cutting and folding paper to make useful items of various types.   Each child made two baskets.  Well, the two older ones made them.  I did most of the work for Elizabeth (age 4) although she helped with the glue and choosing the paper. 

 

 

The final stage of the project involved dividing up the cookies into the baskets.  Each basket got two dozen cookies – 6 each of 4 different varieties.  Yum!  Then each child choose two different neighbor families and went to deliver their cookies!  Plan A was to deliver on New Year's Day, but in reality we didn't reach the final stage of the project until the 2^nd.  I'm sure the neighbors were okay with this. J

 

 

So there you go - a fairly simple handicraft project for the not-so-crafty Mama.  We had so much fun with this one, we might need to make it one of our holiday traditions.

 

I'm sharing this with Amy's new Learning By Hand link-up at Crossing the Brandywine.  Click on over for more handicraft inspiration!  (I don't know about you, but I need all the inspiration I can get!)