My Grandfather: A Reflection

 

In September, Michelle and I made a whirlwind trip (11 days total, 3 of which were spent in airports or on airplanes) all the way from Africa to the USA to attend my Grandfather's memorial service.  He passed away on August 31 this year at the age of 93.   It was a long way to go for such a short period of time, but it was totally and completely worth it.  In the 13+ years that I have lived overseas, I have missed numerous events in the lives of my family and close friends – weddings, reunions, births, funerals.   Because of that, it was so very precious to me to be able to be there this time – to spend a few days with my extended family all in one place and to celebrate the life of the man who was my hero.

 

 

Why was he my hero?  It all started when I was three years old and he and Grandma came to stay with me while my parents were at the hospital having my little sister.  They brought with them a set of "Magic Mary Ann" paper dolls.  (The 'magic'?  They were magnetic so the clothes would actually stay on!)  He sat down with me at my little tiny table-and-chairs and cut out all the clothes, taped the little metal bits on the back that would stick to the magnet, and even traced a blank dress for me to color myself.   I still remember it vividly now, over thirty years later. 

 

 

After he retired, he and Grandma bought a piece of property in the woods up in the Northern California mountains and built a house there.  The vast majority of my favorite childhood memories took place at that house.   Walks in the woods, game nights, watching Hercule Poirot on TV, camping in their trailer, playing in the snow at Christmas time (oh the travesty the year I was 10 and we didn't get any snow for Christmas!), driving down the mountain to go shopping and out for lunch at King's Table or the Westside Deli or to that place where you could get the twisty chocolate and vanilla soft-serve ice cream cones….little things really.  But precious to me all the same, the stuff that memories are made of.

 

 

When I left home and went away to college, we kept up a lively pen-and-paper correspondence.   This lasted for years – well beyond the advent of email -  many of the years that I lived in Papua New Guinea included.  It really only ended in the past 5 years or so as his mind really started to slip.    When I got married, he made a special trip and flew all the way from Washington to Florida at the age of 83 so that he could be there at my wedding.   And he was so very tickled that he got to meet all three of my little ones the last time we were back in the States.

 

 

My Grandpa led a pretty ordinary life.  He was a simple man who loved his Lord, loved his family, loved to work with his hands.  All these little things that I remember about him are really very simple little memories, things that in and of themselves were not that noteworthy or spectacular.  And yet, I considered him my hero.  I am realizing now it was because he took the time.  He sat with me when I was a little girl.   He and Grandma spent hours and days and weeks and months as I grew up spending time at their home in the mountains doing simple, ordinary things with me.   He took the time to write me letters regularly for years when I was a young woman.    He built a relationship with me.

 

 

Building a relationship with me didn't require any special talents, or a lot of money, or a lot of fuss and trouble.   It just took time…little moments here and there spread out over the years that added up over a lifetime.   If there is one thing that I want to remember about him - to learn from how he lived his life - it is this.

 

 

Take the time for the little things.  They matter more than you may ever know.

 

 

Narration as Translation

I, along with a few other ladies over at the AO Forum, are still very slowly plugging our way through Mortimer Adler's How to Read a Book.  I really enjoyed the first couple of chapters of this book…and then he dived into all his 'rules' for analytical reading.  Oy.  I can't actually imagine myself 'analyzing' every word, sentence, paragraph in the way he describes.  I always thought I was a detail-oriented person, but I don't think that it extends quite as far as would be necessary to do what Mr Adler describes in his book.   I have very nearly set this book aside several times, but I keep on keeping on since a) our weekly reading assignments are very small and so don't take away much time from other things I'd rather read and b) it is one of the core books used in the upper years of AO.  I don't want to knock it until I've really given it a chance. 

 

So all of that is context to the section from chapter 9 that I read a couple of weeks ago.  All of a sudden light bulbs started going off in my mind.  Mr Adler is talking about the two tests one can apply to see if they really understand the crux of the point an author is trying to make:  Test #1: Retell the author's point in your own words.   Test #2: See if you can connect the author's point to a personal experience you've had or know about or something else you've read.    Hmm, sounds awfully similar to what Charlotte Mason recommended for her students:  Tell back what you just read.  Make connections. 

 

What was most fascinating to me is the parallel that Adler draws between this idea of retelling (narration) and translation:

 

" 'State in your own words!'  That suggests the best test we know for telling whether you have understood the proposition or propositions in the sentence.  If, when you are asked to explain what the author means by a particular sentence, all you can do is repeat his very words, with some minor alterations in their order, you had better suspect that you do not know what he means.  Ideally, you should be able to say the same thing in totally different words.  The idea can of course, be approximated in varying degrees.  But if you cannot get away at all from the author's words, it shows that only words have passed from him to you, not thought or knowledge.  You know his words, but not his mind.  He was trying communicate knowledge, and all you received was words.

 

The process of translation from a foreign language to English is relevant to the test we have suggested.  If you cannot state in an English sentence what a French sentence says, you know you do not understand the meaning of the French.  But even if you can, your translation may remain only on the verbal level; for even when you have formed a faithful English replica, you still may not know what the writer of the French sentence was trying to convey.

 

The translation of one English sentence into another, however, is not merely verbal.  The new sentence you have formed is not a verbal replica of the original.  If accurate, it is faithful to the thought alone.  That is why making such translations is the best test you can apply to yourself, if you want to be sure you have digested the proposition, not merely swallowed the words.  If you fail the test, you have uncovered a failure of understanding."

 

~Mortimer Adler, How to Read a Book (emphasis mine)

 

Isn't that an interesting analogy?  Maybe I just thought it was interesting because I live in a bilingual country and do a fair amount of going back and forth between English and French myself.   The church we attend is [mostly French but kind of] bilingual, so sometimes the sermon portion of the service is translated from French to English (or the other way around, depending on who's preaching).   Given that I am fairly comfortable in both languages, it's usually pretty easy to tell when the translator really understands the message – he's digested it and turned it around quickly into proper idiomatic form in the other language.  Other times you can tell that he's just grasping at words and translating literally word-for-word…at best it's a little stilted and at worst doesn't quite work (think: Google translate).   A good translation – that's hard work!  Often times over on the Forum, people will post about how their child is struggling with narration, and the encouragement and advice often given in this situation is that narration is hard work, it's a skill that takes time and experience to master.  One has to attend, to comprehend, to sift through and organize the information that has been taken in, and then reproduce it in one's own words – in many ways the same thing that a translator is doing when he takes a message in French and has to turn it into English.  "Tell back the story" seems simple…but when thinking in terms of translating the ideas the author is sharing from his 'language' into your own, I think it brings out just how much work it is - particularly for a child who has only ever been asked to spit back 'words' in reply to comprehension questions on a worksheet.  I also liked how he used the swallowing vs. digesting analogy in that last line – fits right in with Charlotte Mason's analogy of spreading the feast before our children.   Narration, while hard work, also ensures that our students are truly digesting the feast, and not just gulping and swallowing without tasting and savoring and being nourished.

 

 

Click here to find links to more quotable books for this week.

 

The Summer of Handicrafts

Let me just say up front that I'm not a particularly crafty or creative person.   Nor am I a 'fun mom'.   You won't find me culling Pinterest for fun projects I can do with my kids.   One of the things that I was so relieved about when I discovered Charlotte Mason was that it gave me permission not to have to do cute 'hands-on' projects that I have no idea what to do with once they are finished for every history or science topic we cover.  I hate clutter.  And I hate pouring time into a project that is eventually destined for the trash can.

 

That said, Charlotte Mason education is much more than just books and narration, as Celeste points out in the article she wrote for the Charlotte Mason Myth Busting series over at Afterthoughts.  One of the many more active pursuits she included in her curriculum is what she called "handicrafts".    Celeste explains: "The goal for [handicrafts] was beauty, usefulness, and quality -- this is not crafting for the sake of crafting, as so many educational supplements seem to be."   Handicrafts can be things we might consider to be in the realm of crafts such as sewing or crocheting or paper folding, but I would say it also rolls over into what we might term 'life skills' too – even such things as chores, and cooking, and home repairs.  In this excellent article about handicrafts, Nicole lists four purposes for teaching our children handicrafts:

 

1. A possible lifelong hobby (fire making and camp fire cooking, knitting, woodworking, sewing, basket making, carving)
2. A skill which can be used to gift friends and family (homemade ornaments, sewing, knitting, preserving food, cooking, card making, basket making, carving)
3. A life skill that allows you to care for family or otherwise makes things more comfortable in your home (cooking, preserving food, cleaning)
4. A means to training hand-eye coordination (all of the above examples)

 

Ah yes.  This I can wrap my mind around.  These don't involve shoe boxes, papier-mâché, salt-dough, or glitter.  This I can do.

 

I didn't really plan it to be this way, but this summer turned out to be the summer of handicrafts.  I thought I'd show you some of the things that we did.

 

James, age 6, was often (always?) around and involved in the process whenever his Papa was repairing something:

 

 

 

He also helped his Papa put together a model airplane from a kit that was given to us:

 

 

 

Michelle, age 8-going-on-9 learned how to crochet when my mom was visiting:

 

 

This was her first completed project, a little bag.   She's working on a scarf now (almost done), and wants to do some dish cloths next.

 

 

Even I got in on the action as I learned to crochet along with Michelle.  I'd never been interested in learning to crochet before because it always looked sort of tedious and fiddly to me, so I only intended to learn enough that I could help her out if she got stuck somewhere once Grandma went home again.  Alas, I got hooked (pun only sort of intended).  I don't have any pictures, but I have crocheted a small pencil-pouch, some flowers, quite a few dishcloths, and am working on a garland for Christmas decorations now.  I also got out my sewing machine this summer and made some covers for Michelle and James' Bibles, both of which were looking a little worse-for-the-wear (which I guess is a good problem to have for a Bible!!)

 

 

I find that handicrafts work best for us when I don't try to schedule them….they just sort of ebb and flow with our life.  James is learning lots of 'handyman' skills by shadowing his Papa when he does fix-it jobs around the house.   All three of them float in and out of the kitchen to help as I cook, and the older two are starting to be able to follow recipes and make a few things on their own.   Papercrafting supplies are always available to them to make cards, books, stationary, little decorations, and they often do.  Michelle has learned the basic techniques for handsewing and crocheting and is often working on a hand-project of some kind during read-alouds.   

Handicrafts: simple, natural, beautiful, and useful. 

 

What kind of handicrafts have you enjoyed in your home?

Food for the Soul

A few quotes that I culled from the school reading I did with Michelle (age 9/grade 3/nearing the end of AO Year 2) this past week:

 

" 'This is not a nice part of our pilgrimage,' sighed Mercy. 'I don't like it so well as staying at the Wicket Gate, or with the Interpreter, or at the Palace Beautiful.'  'Ah,' said Matthew, 'but think how much worse it would be to live here always, as we might have to do if we served the Wicked Prince!  Perhaps the King wishes us to pass through this dreadful place so that we may learn to care more about being with Him in the Celestial City.'"

~Helen Taylor, Little Pilgrim's Progress

 

"…God makes the very wilderness to burst forth and blossom like a rose: that there are no outcast ends of the earth, uncared for by Him; no desolate corners where His goodness is not shown forth."

 

"I have taught you something of God's doing in the natural world, which has given you comfort and hope.  What then, you believe of His works, believe also of His mercies.  If you cannot find a limit to one, suspect and hope that the other, too, may be infinite – far beyond our comprehension."

~Mrs. Gatty, "Red Snow, Parables from Nature  (Read the whole thing here if you have a few moments – beautiful!)

 

"A good death is better than a bad life."

 

"Remember, Christ suffered for the sake of His chosen.  If my death can glorify His name, than may He give me grace to endure with good courage whatever evil may befall me.  May the Lord watch over you and bring you into eternal peace and glory."

~John Huss in Trial and Triumph by Richard Hannula

 

I've waxed eloquent before about all the reasons that I love using Ambleside Online as the basis for our curriculum.  Today, I am grateful for these little nuggets that have spoken to me out of the books that I have read with my elementary-aged daughter.   Not only did we check off the boxes for all our required subjects this week, our souls were fed as well.

Books that have Shaped my Life

 

Awhile back over on the AO Forum, there was a really interesting thread in which we shared some of the books that have influenced us the most in our lives over the years, inspired by this list by Leo Tolstoy.  I thought I'd share my list here, given that I am a lover of book lists, after all.  :) What I list here are books that I feel have influenced me - changed the way I live or think in some way - and not necessarily a list of favorites or simply books that I like. Some of these books I wouldn't recommend now or re-read, but they had some kind of shaping influence at the time that I first read it. Other books I really like and would consider 'favorites', but they haven't necessarily been profound, game-changer kind of books and so didn't make this list. (You can see my list of 'favorite' books up there in the Books for Mama tab if you want to compare lists. J)  So…here ya go.

 

Childhood

I'm not sure I can articulate HOW these books were influential, but they are the ones that I returned to over and over again as a child, so I think that it is safe to say that they touched me at some level deep down inside. Many of the heroines in these books aspired to be writers and/or teachers, which perhaps influenced my decisions to pursue those things as well.

 

• Anne of Green Gables series (LM Montgomery)
• Emily of New Moon series (LM Montgomery)
• Little House on the Prairie series (Laura Ingalls Wilder)
• The Saturdays series (Elizabeth Enright)
• The Shoes series (Noel Streatfield)
• The All of a Kind Family series (Sidney Taylor)
• The Chronicles of Narnia  (CS Lewis)
• Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)

 

Teens Through College

I didn't read much good literature AT ALL during these years - just lots of poorly written Christian romances and other drivel from the young adult section in the library (which thankfully wasn't as awful back then as it is now…but that's another topic entirely.) So that's why this list is a little thin. 

• It was in my mid-teens that I started taking the Bible more seriously, but I can't think of any particular books that stand out as particularly meaningful. I remember John being particularly significant during a difficult time my senior year in college.
• The Divine Conspiracy (Dallas Willard) - I have a feeling if I re-read this book NOW, I would disagree with some of the theology in it. Nevertheless, this was the first book that opened my heart to the idea that there was more to Christianity than just asking Jesus into your heart and having good morals.
• Madeleine L'Engle's fiction - the Wrinkle in Time series and the series about the Austin family
• Christy (Catherine Marshall) - inspired me to consider seriously teaching overseas – I probably wouldn't be where I am today without it. I could list this again under my 30's because it also has encouraged me to stay the course when the 'romance' of life overseas wore off and the going got tough.

 

Post-College 20's

• Bible Books: Ezekiel, Philippians, Psalms all stand out
• The Mitford series (Jan Karon): I know, that's kind of a silly one, isn't it? But I've found them comforting at times when I needed comforting, and a good example of an ordinary life well-lived. Could re-list under my 30's as well as I revisit the series every few years.
• L'Abri (Edith Schaeffer) - answered prayer, the life of faith
• The Mission of Motherhood (Sally Clarkson) and The Hidden Art of Homemaking (Edith Schaeffer) - I read both of these in the year after my oldest daughter was born. The transition from 'meaningful' outside-the-home work/ministry to stay-at-home motherhood was a huge struggle for me, and both of these books helped me understand that stay-at-home motherhood IS meaningful work/ministry in and of itself. I think Sally Clarkson's book was probably the one that planted the first seed of homeschooling in my heart too...

 

30's Thus Far

• Bible Books: Hebrews, Romans
• The Discipline of Grace (Jerry Bridges) - This is the book that helped me begin to understand that I didn't do God any favors when I got saved, but that it is really all about His grace in saving me when I didn't deserve it. Yes, I grew up in church and 'got saved' when I was a kid, but I never really understood what that really meant until I read this book. Huge catalyst for my spiritual growth (as well as re-evaluating some of the theological assumptions I was raised with) over the past few years.
• What Did You Expect? (Paul David Tripp) - I'm not a big fan of marriage advice books, but this one contained some thoughts I really needed to hear at the time that I read it.  My marriage is the better for it.
• Loving the Little Years (Rachel Jankovich) and Shepherding a Child's Heart (Tedd Tripp)- I'm not a big fan of parenting advice books either, but these encouraged me in parenting three littles 5 and under when I was ready to throw in the towel, helped me to shift my parenting paradigm away from a behavioristic parenting model and towards a more relational one.
• Simply Charlotte Mason's Early Years book and For the Children's Sake  (Susan Schaeffer MacCauley) - It's funny because I don't particularly care for SCM resources now. At the time that I read it though, I was completely burned out trying to force kindergarten on my then 4.5 year old. I likely would have thrown in the homeschooling towel within the year if it hadn't been for reading that book when I did. This was followed up within the same time period by For the Children's Sake which is what started me down the Charlotte Mason path in earnest....
• Charlotte Mason's Writings -  profound effect on my parenting, teaching, and view of life in general
• North and South (Elizabeth Gaskell) - I live in a place not unlike Milton in some ways. This book helped (helps) me think through the grey areas in social issues, the nature of friendship, cultural adaptation...
• Lord of the Rings trilogy (JRR Tolkein) - hard to articulate, but profound
• Surprised by Oxford (Weber) - faith, importance of good literature, examples of thoughtful Christian womanhood
• The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert (Butterfield) - faith, the impact of an ordinary life well-lived
• Frankenstein (Mary Shelley) – sin and its consequences, gratitude for God's gracious hand at work in my life

 

 

What books have had the greatest impact on you?

A Blogging Manifesto

When I stopped blogging last summer, I really did think it would only be for a few weeks.   But one thing followed another: my mom came to visit, I taught art during a three week co-op session in August, my Grandfather died and I ended up making a whirlwind trip back to the USA to be with family for his memorial service in September.  I'm only just now feeling like life has settled into something that resembles normal again.

 

All that extra time away gave me a lot of time to think, though.  To think about why I blog in the first place and what I really want to be writing about.   I've never had any aspirations to be a professional blogger, and yet I found myself falling into a comparison trap with those who are.  I was trying to 'produce content' three times a week and keep up with writing series' that I started.  This sucked a lot of joy and creativity out of my writing, and my reading too since I felt like I needed to keep up with the series I started.  (Sorry if you were hoping for more in the School Education series…).  It also was causing me to take time away from my local, real-life relationships.  I was spending my free moments hiding behind my computer screen trying to meet my crazy, self-imposed deadlines rather than engaging with my children, my husband, and my neighbors.  I tend towards being an introverted hermit already, and trying to keep up with the pros was driving that to an unhealthy extreme. 

 

Somewhere in the middle of all that, Cindy Rollins closed down her wonderful blog, Ordo Amoris.  (I'd link to it, but it's no longer there, sniff, sniff.)   While there are many other wonderful Charlotte Mason and Classical Education blogs that I like to follow for encouragement and inspiration, Cindy's was different.  In the weeks that followed her blog's closure, I thought a lot about why it felt like there was such a gap in my online world, despite all the other wonderful sources of inspiration out there.   I think the reason why is that Cindy was such a voice of experience.  I mean, she has homeschooled her children from day one, and 7 out of 9 of them have graduated and are now making their way in the world.   Her oldest is nearly as old as I am.  That's a lot of years to gain wisdom and experience, and yet she shared that wisdom and experience with a voice of humility and a sense of "I'm in this with you".  It struck me that I'm no Cindy Rollins, and I have a long way to go before I will even begin to approach the degree of wisdom and experience that she shared so humbly.  When I started this blog, I felt like I had something to offer the homeschooling community.  Never mind that my oldest was only in first grade and my younger two were still babies and I had yet to read anything Charlotte Mason had actually written.   I thought that the fact that I had a BA in education and a few years teaching experience in a classroom somehow exempted me from having to learn this stuff in the trenches.   I was cocky and prideful.   Please forgive me for that.

 

I recognize now that the only thing I really know is how much I still don't know.   The more I read and learn and walk this path of life, the more I realize that.   These past few years have brought me to the end of myself in many ways.  It is only as I recognize this and embrace it that I can, with God's help, start to rebuild on a stronger foundation.   Charlotte Mason and Classical Education have been hugely instrumental in this endeavor.  I never dreamed that homeschooling my children would be such an education for myself – my whole self: body, mind and soul - too.

 

I came very close to walking away from this blog completely.  And yet something keeps drawing me back.  If nothing else, it is a useful place to track the books that I'm reading. J  And it is my place for thinking out loud, and an avenue for connecting in some small way with others who may be travelling a similar journey.   With that in mind, here are a few commitments I am making as I take up my pen keyboard and start writing typing again.  Hold me to these, folks.

 

• I will write when I'm inspired.   When I read something particularly striking, I'll write about it.  When we have a particularly wonderful nature study discovery, I'll post about it.  When we have a school moment that is particularly joyful or interesting or serendipitous, I'll write about it.  I will not try to hold myself to a series or posting schedule just for the sake of keeping up with other bloggers.  This might mean that sometimes I will write a lot, and other times I will write very little.  I will learn to be okay with that.
• I will write in my 'margins'.  If I haven't yet connected with my kids or my husband or my neighbors that day, I will close the lid to my laptop and leave the post for another time, no matter how inspired I might be at that moment.   My local, real life relationships come first.
• I will write from a place of humility.  Please know, friends, that I am right down in the trenches with you.  I don't have it all figured out.  If I have anything to offer you, it is because of God's grace and the wisdom and experience of those who have come before me.

 

I am reading Karen Glass' brand new book Consider This – which is fantastic by the way.  Do go snag yourself a copy if you haven't yet.   I'll close with her words:

 

"We remain in that state of teachableness just so long as we are able to remember that there are 'more things' that we do not yet know.  We must understand and never forget, like Socrates of long ago, that wisdom begins with the knowledge of our own ignorance.  The journey to wisdom is the journey of a lifetime, unlike a trip to Rome.  If we want to learn and grow – and if we want our pupils to learn and grow outside the schoolroom and beyond the years of formal schooling – we must all come to recognize humbly that the goal is yet before us and there will always be much to learn."

 

Come.  Journey with me.

It may be a little while...

...before I start writing in this space again.  Certainly until the end of the month and possibly longer.  I keep thinking that I will have time to get something written and posted, but it keeps not happening...which makes me think that perhaps this is a season just for living rather than writing.   I do enjoy writing, though - thinking out loud, really - so I expect I will be back at some point.

In the meantime, blessings to you all as you launch in to a new school year.